


Polyphony

by saavik13



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Early Federation, F/M, Politics, Vulcan Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-06 22:29:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saavik13/pseuds/saavik13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Polyphony -<br/>Two simultaneous lines of independent melody.</p>
<p>Amanda Grayson and Sarek of Vulcan didn't have a lot in common.  Except how they complemented each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Contact

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try for weekly updates. I doubt I can keep up the near daily ones I've been managing on the last couple stories. RL things to handle... But this was ready to start out into the world and I couldn't hold it back.
> 
> Unbetaed as of the moment.

Amanda Grayson needed sex. 

She needed fucked. Impaled. _Taken_.

This one all consuming need was distracting her from daily life. It was making her eye the grocery clerk, and the parking attendant, and that guy in a suit on the train. It was taking over her entire life and she was tired of it.

It shouldn’t be that hard for a reasonably attractive woman to accomplish a little shag now should it? The way everyone talked, men were constantly on the prowl for it. Stick your thumb out and they’d line up. That was the theory. Only how does a respectable schoolteacher let on she’s horny without ruining her reputation? Amanda hadn’t been able to figure that part out. Bars were a no go since the only jerks that had enough confidence to hit on her turned her stomach. Dating sites were slow and inevitably ended with her finding a stalker like puppy dog instead of a man. 

And Amanda wanted a man. 

No baby faced young gentlemen who didn’t know what slot it went in. No measly mouthed vertically challenged wimps who couldn’t hold her down while she bucked against them. And no innocent little mamma boys that only want babies and picket fences. Amanda Grayson _needed_ sex, real sex - the kind that cuts off higher brain function and short circuits common sense, safety, and propriety. The kind of sex that makes the neighbors call the cops because it sounds like someone is getting murdered. The kind of sex you don’t admit to even when you’re drunk with your girlfriends. 

Amanda Grayson wanted, for just a few hours, to feel like a real woman. Like a powerful, fearless, wanton, creature. Like a temptress, like a seductress, like a damn _harlot_.

And it wasn’t going to happen.

Ben wasn’t about to take her against a wall and pound into her so hard her head dented the plaster board. Ben wasn’t going to flip her over the back of his couch, push her skirt up and her panties down, force her legs apart and plunge into her without even saying hello. Ben wasn’t going to tie her to the bed and tease her until her mind stopped working and her muscles could only twitch from exhaustion. 

No. Ben Weaver wasn’t going to do any of those things because if Ben Weaver didn’t shut up in the next thirty seconds she was going to kill him with her soupspoon.

They’d been dating for ages it seemed, ever since the end of grad school, and she’d known for some time it wasn’t working out. But he was sweet and she considered him a friend, and how do you tell the nice guy you’ve been dating for five years that you not only “just want to be friends” but that you’ve gotten to the point that while you’d happily jump that bus boy over there if he held still long enough, you’d rather drown yourself in that crappy looking lobster tank than take _him_ to bed.

At first it had been okay. A little hanky panky, a few fumblings. Amanda had assumed it would get better. After all, she wasn’t terribly experienced herself, she’d spent all her time on schoolwork until then. They’d figure each other out. Sex got better with time. Right?

Only it seemed to get worse. Amanda hadn’t thought she was odd. She had a libido. Every one did, didn’t they? Apparently nobody clued Ben in on that memo. Every time she tried to talk to him about things she’d like to try or fantasies she had, he’d clam up and they’d go weeks if not months without any intimacy. And then the next time would be short and to script. Always to script. The same thing _every time_. Amanda knew exactly what he’d do to start it and exactly what he expected from her - which wasn’t much- and that if she did anything to veer off into new territory things would wither and die. Literately.

And he seemed to think that their relationship was fine. 

It wasn’t fine. It was _driving her crazy_. 

She’d tried to break it off several times but he was so _nice_ she never could bring herself to totally end it. After all bad sex was better than no sex and since she’d never had luck in the dating department - men seemed to find her intimidating and either stayed away or wanted her to play mommy - she’d been making do. But there were not enough batteries in the world to give her what she needed and Ben wasn’t even taking the edge off anymore. Christ, the ridge in her jeans was more stimulating than the lump of quivering patheticness sitting across the dinner table from her. 

She was being slightly uncharitable, she knew. Ben wasn’t a _bad_ guy, but the longer this kept up the worse she was treating him and they both knew it. Amanda had reached such a point of sexual frustration that she couldn’t even be pleasant to the man any more. He owned the piece of equipment she needed, damn it, and he wasn’t willing to use it properly.

Her attention was obviously not on the conversation he was having with someone on the other end of his communicator, so in an attempt to drag her mind off of murder, Amanda turned her attention to rest of the restaurant. It was supposed to be a congratulatory dinner for her. She’d finally gotten the job she’d wanted teaching the accelerated students at a private academy just outside the new Federation headquarters in San Francisco. Ben and some friends were supposed to meet her at the restaurant for a fun night out. Only Ellen and David canceled because their two year old son Trevor had swallowed a laser pointer and was in the ER. Trish and Will had called at the last minute and couldn’t make it because some work dinner had come up. So it was only Ben, boring old self-absorbed Ben, at the table with her. The restaurant was unusually empty too, Amanda noticed. Of course, it was a Monday night and it was early yet.

There was another couple two tables down that appeared to be sickeningly involved with each other. He kept leaning into her every word and the woman kept adjusting her blouse to show the right amount of cleavage.

Across the way was a group of what looked like business men chattering away and sharing a bunch of appetizers. It looked like some kind of pre-party and Amanda guessed whatever it was they were all laughing and congratulating each other over would probably end up with hang overs the next day.

The only interesting thing in the dinning room was a table against the back wall, half hidden by some potted plants and a waist high divider. It looked like a mix group of humans and aliens and seemed very formal. At least from what Amanda could see in the mirror. The table was directly behind her and if it hadn’t been for the large over done mirror on the wall she was facing she’d never have noticed them.

Ben laughed particularly loudly into the communicator and Amanda waved at him in half-hearted agreement when he asked if she minded if he took the call outside. Sure. Whatever. It wasn’t like she was _alone_ at the table or anything.

She went back to staring into the mirror and watched as the large party behind her broke up. Several men in Star Fleet uniforms were the first to leave, taking the bill with them. Amanda snorted at the expressions on their faces. Whatever it was they’d wanted to accomplish with the meal, it was obvious it hadn’t worked. The next to walk out were two well dressed civilians that Amanda vaguely recognized as the local Federation Senator and his husband –she couldn’t remember either of their names. They were laughing together, the younger of the two a little red in his face from the wine. That just left the aliens and Amanda perked up as they stood. She’d been in San Francisco long enough she was used to seeing non-humans about, but having grown up in a small Massachusetts town that _no one_ ever visited, it was still a secret thrill to be so close to people so different. Having Star Fleet Headquarters in the city, and the Federation Embassy relocating there, she was sure to see even more. Not nearly as many as she saw when she’d traveled off world with her grandfather, but anything was better than nothing.

Unfortunately, it was just a couple Vulcans and an Antaran. Nothing exciting. Amanda went back to picking at her salad. The other two couples had finished their meal and left while she’d been spying on the back table and Amanda thought she was alone in the dinning room until she felt a shadow fall over her. She looked up and found herself staring at one of the two Vulcans. He was tall with a wide face and the piercing dark eyes of his people. He was younger than Amanda had first thought; how young she couldn’t tell. Vulcans were hard to age, with their longer life spans. He wore the diplomatic robes that she knew the Vulcan Embassy staff favored and from all the decoration on it, it was a safe bet he was not junior staff.

“Pardon me,” he spoke softly, his voice deep and authoritative despite his words. “But I could not help but notice that your dinner companion seems to have taken his leave.” His Standard was ever so slightly accented.

“Temporarily, I’m afraid.” Amanda responded with a long suffering sigh. “We’re meant to be celebrating, but the others canceled and Ben’s…being Ben.” She shrugged.

“I see.” The Vulcan said, although clearly he did not. “Forgive my presumption, but I only recently arrived on Earth and I am attempting to learn the nuances of your culture. I was under the impression it was impolite to leave a female alone during a dinner one has invited her to.” He tipped his head to the side as if contemplating a far greater mystery. “It was one of the few cultural similarities I have noted thus far. Was I in error?”

“No.” Amanda laughed. “No, you aren’t. My date is just very rude.”

“Yet you stay?”

His honest question, spoken without judgment, only curiosity, was what finally spurred her to action. “You know, you’re right.” Amanda set down her fork with finality and stood. “What am I doing here, waiting around for that jerk?” She pulled out a credit chip and tossed it onto the table and picked up her purse. “Thank you.” She smiled at the stranger. “I needed an outside perspective to see exactly how stupid this was.” 

The Vulcan looked even more confused. “I do not understand.”

“Of course you don’t, because this entire situation is completely stupid.” Amanda replied evenly, moving towards the exit. He trailed behind her and she couldn’t help but chuckle at his expression. “You just walked into a rather long standing angst fest, I’m afraid. I’ve been sitting there all night frustrated beyond belief and doing everything I could not to smack the hell out of my boyfriend - _ex-boyfriend_ as soon as he bothers to get off that damn communicator long enough for me to end it. I realize you had no idea that asking me a simple question would spur me to finally draw a line in the sand, but thank you anyway.”

“Should I apologize to him?” The Vulcan asked, his forehead wrinkling in subtle signs of distress. 

“Oh hell no!” Amanda laughed. “He’s not likely to miss me. I think he just enjoyed saying he had a significant other more than the actual act of having one. Lord knows he never had a clue what to do with me anyway.” Amanda shook her head as they reached the sidewalk. Ben was pacing outside, still deep in his conversation and she waved at him. He waved back, no clue what was actually happening, and Amanda turned to head back towards her apartment. The Vulcan stood there, still trying to figure out exactly what had transpired and Amanda took pity on him.

“Look, I know you lot don’t shake hands, so please forgive my lack of familiarity with how you introduce yourselves. I’m Amanda Grayson.”

“Sarek.” He replied, his hand rising into a gesture she vaguely recalled from an old documentary about First Contact. 

“Well, Sarek. I’m not hanging around here and you seem to have a few more questions. Have you been to a coffee shop yet?”

“No.” His eyebrow raised. “That is a drink?”

“A non-alcoholic one. There’s a nice coffee shop just up the street. If you’ve got more questions on the insane social customs of my species I’d be happy to answer them. I can introduce you to the wonders of coffee and having you there will keep me from making good on any of my homicidal thoughts about that bastard.” She gestured over her shoulder. 

He looked vaguely uncomfortable. “This is not…”

Amanda realized instantly what he was concerned about and waved a hand dismissively. “No, it’s not a _date_. That would be a pretty fast rebound even for someone as sexually frustrated as I am. No, this is the teacher in me offering to tutor the poor guy that wandered up to my table.”

“I am not a ‘guy’.” Sarek protested but followed her anyway. “You are a teacher?”

“Yes. I’ve been working for the public school system teaching Galactic Standard. The San Francisco Academy just offered me a job this morning teaching the mixed species class they’ve started. It’s a dream position, honestly.”

“I am unaware of the program.” 

Amanda happily chatted about her new job on the way to the coffee shop and Sarek gave her his full attention. He asked questions and seemed to be generally interested in her and Amanda basked in his honest consideration. It was nice to talk to someone that seemed to actually care what she had to say. 

“My son is in that age group.” Sarek confessed as they found seats in the back of the coffee shop after placing their orders. Sarek had taken some time check the menu against his safe food list and Amanda had had to explain several of the ingredients to him. “Sybok has been following an independent course of study since joining me here at the Embassy. Such a program that allows for individualized instruction yet communal social interaction would benefit him.”

“Well, I don’t think there are any other Vulcans in the program, but I’m sure they’d welcome your interest. If you contact the Academy they can fill you in on more of the particulars. I only know what I learned in the job interview. I was told they selected me because of all the time I spent off world as a girl. I had more travel under my belt than any of the other applicants and I was the only one that could speak more than five languages.”

Sarek sipped his coffee. “You have been off world? It was my understanding few Earthers traveled unless they were in Star Fleet or settling one of the colony worlds.”

“It’s getting better.” Amanda sighed. “It’s expensive to travel without a good reason and right now we have few civilian ships that aren’t used for trading or colonization. There just isn’t a tourist market yet, at least not beyond our own solar system. My grandfather started one of the first interplanetary shipping companies and whenever I had a break from school he’d take me with him on runs.” Amanda smiled fondly as she remembered him. “I loved it. When he died I was in my second year of graduate school. Mom sold our share of the business to my uncle and I’m afraid my traveling days are over. Uncle Will is content to keep to the same tried and true shipping lanes Grandfather locked down and isn’t interested in expanding. That was where Grandfather and I had the most fun, you know. Out there on the edges of human expansion – visiting places few if any human had gone.” Amanda sighed in remembrance.

Sarek raised an eyebrow. “You are part of the Grayson Shipping Corp.?”

“I was.” Amanda smirked. “I take it our reputation precedes us.”

“Arthur Grayson managed to negotiate shipping contracts with species even my people had failed to work peaceably with.” Sarek looked impressed despite himself. “Several of his early agreements were part of my training when I joined the diplomatic service.”

“Which ones?” Amanda leaned forward. “I helped write the Edosians agreement when I was fourteen and we worked for _weeks_ trying to hammer something out with the Bajorans. That was my favorite one. They are so far out we had to travel for _months_ to get there. My mother had a fit when she found out where we were going but grandpa and I were already well outside Federation space by then so there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.”

Sarek’s eyebrow was lost in his hairline. “You helped Arthur Grayson negotiation both the Bajoran and Edosian shipping agreements?”

“It was nothing.” Amanda waved it off. “I was pretty young at the time, but grandpa was a total dunce at languages. The universal translator was still in its infancy, which is why he took me with him. I’m a wiz at picking up lingo. Drop me in with a group of native speakers and give me a couple weeks and I’m nearly fluent.”

Sarek shook his head. _”It is an honor to meet you, T-Grayson.”_ he said in Vulcan.

“ _The honor is mine._ ” Amanda replied and then blushed. “My accent is terrible, I know. I never had a chance to learn Vulcan from any of your people – only from record tapes. I seem to do much better with real people.”

“It is not terrible.” Sarek replied, his eyes glittering. “From the sound of it, you were using the entertainment tapes from our Northern region. They have a distinctive accent.”

“ _In my defense it’s rather difficult to get a hold of anything else.”_ Amanda replied, switching back to Vulcan and enjoying the gentle twists of it on her tongue. She loved language, in all forms, and it was a special treat to practice one she’d yet to completely master.

Their conversation continued, this time in Vulcan, and Amanda did her best to ignore the stares of the other patrons. Sarek was surprisingly witty and before long she was laughing at what she knew had to have been a joke while the Vulcan in question sat stoically across from her. If it hadn’t been for the lightness to his eyes she might have believed him to serious, but there was _something_ about how they reflected the light when he said something particularly funny that made Amanda believe he knew exactly what he was doing. They eventually finished their coffee and Sarek offered to see her home.

Amanda hadn’t released it was so late until they’d started down the sidewalk and saw they were the only two people out. Sarek didn’t seem to mind the quiet solitude and since the neighborhood wasn’t a dangerous one, she didn’t either. He asked her all sorts of questions as they walked, most of them little things. What was the meaning of the short fences in the front of the homes they passed – they couldn’t keep anything out so why have them? Why did they put fake gas street lamps out – was it aesthetics only? Why did all the Earth Ambassador always smell like mint?

When they finally reached her apartment Amanda was sad to see the evening end. “ _Thank you, Sarek._ ” She spoke softly, her Vulcan already improving just from the evening spent with him. She looked down and away to hide the flush she felt growing in her cheeks. It hadn’t been a date, but she couldn’t help but wish it had.

Sarek raised his hand again and Amanda struggled to copy the movement. When she couldn’t manage it, he reached out and hesitantly moved her fingers into the proper places. “The gesture is usually accompanied by the phrase _dif tor heh smusma_ , live long and prosper. It is answered with _sochya eh dif_ peace and long life.” Sarek hesitated. “I often reverse these. It is a grammatical quirk of the village from which I hail. You may also see those of us in diplomatic service substitute ‘we come to serve’ and ‘your service honors us’ if the occasion warrants.” Sarek let her hand go slowly. “It is both a greeting and a parting.”

Amanda nodded. _Sochya eh dif_ , Sarek.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, her heart hammering hard in her chest.

“ _Dif tor heh smusma_ , Amanda.” He answered, his eyes alight with a strange intensity.


	2. Gossip Mongers

Chapter Two

“You did what?!”

“I left Ben at the restaurant and got coffee with a Vulcan.” Amanda replied flippantly, holding her communicator away from her ear as her mother laughed. “What! He deserved it!”

“Ben or the Vulcan?” her mother joked. “Honestly, Amanda, what were you _thinking_? The photo that barista took is all over the place – it went viral. _No body_ just goes and gets coffee with the new Ambassador from Vulcan! They don’t socialize unless it’s business and everyone knows it.”

“I didn’t _know_ he was the new ambassador. He only told me his name was Sarek.” Amanda argued as she poured coffee into her thermos and got ready to start her day. “And it wasn’t at all like people are taking it. It was just coffee.”

“They said you were talking in Vulcan half the night. And laughing.” Her mother added. “What in the world could a Vulcan say to make you laugh?”

“Well, he was surprisingly funny.” Amanda defended. “And of course I was going to take the opportunity to practice Vulcan with him sitting right there! He didn’t seem to mind.”

“Of course he didn’t mind. He had a beautiful blond woman gushing all over him.” Her mother chastised. “You were making moon-eyes at him, Amanda.”

“I was not. That was just the camera reflecting off my eyes.” Amanda bit into a piece of toast with relish. “Now, I have to get to work. I’m turning in my resignation and getting ready to start at the Academy next week. I don’t need to hear any more about this from you. It was one coffee for Christ’s sake. I’ll never see him again anyway.”

* * *

Amanda was still trying to play down her evening with Sarek when she showed up for work her first day at the Academy. The photo the barista had snapped of them, without either of them realizing it, had spread far and wide and Amanda had been forced to change her hairstyle and ditch the outfit she’d worn in an attempt to escape the questions from random strangers who’d stop her in the street. Honestly, you’d think they’d done something improper the way every tongue was wagging when in truth they’d really only had _coffee_. The fact that she was just a teacher, and had no connection to any kind of politics, only fueled matters. And when the press had figured out she was the granddaughter of Arthur Grayson it had gotten much worse. Apparently Sarek was a widower, and according to the gossip magazines he was considered something of a catch on his home planet. Having the two of them, from well-known families on their respective planets, out for a casual coffee was the most interesting thing to happen in weeks. Vulcan privacy mores meant that the embassy was refusing all comment and that left Amanda dodging reporters all by herself. 

She wasn’t used to the attention – not anymore. When she’d been little and her grandparents had been active in the social scene she could remember all the reporters that would follow them – people popping out of trees with cameras, the intrusive questions. Her grandfather had been one of the first to make a fortune in off planet trading and while the family tried to keep a low profile it had been a circus. Eventually, when other more colorful characters had starting making a name for themselves the attention had slacked off. The Graysons had never been attention seekers and by the time she’d started high school they’d barely made a note on the society pages. She’d nearly forgotten what it was like. But Amanda wasn’t a Grayson for nothing, so she held her head high, smiled politely, and gave them the complete truth – she’d had coffee with him after they’d met accidently at the restaurant and she’d enjoyed the opportunity to practice his language. And no, she had no plans to see him again. Sometimes coffee was just coffee.

Thank God they didn’t know how he’d touched her, Amanda thought to herself. The remembered feel of his hotter than human hands on hers as he’d guided her fingers into the unfamiliar formation still sent a bolt of animal arousal through her that she had trouble suppressing. She didn’t know a lot about Vulcans, but what she’d read had implied they _never_ touched people if they could avoid it. Touch telepaths rarely did. Something in the way he’d looked at her as he’d pulled away – Amanda felt like that simple brush of his fingers had been his version of a very –very- passionate goodnight kiss. 

Maybe it had been a date.

Even if it had, Amanda reminded herself, they hadn’t exchanged contact information. He was an ambassador and she was…a teacher. And she was going to be a _late_ teacher if she didn’t get her ass into her new building.

The San Francisco Academy catered to the children of the many embassies and their staffs that had relocated to the city when the Federation Headquarters had moved from Geneva to the costal town. The students were mostly human, but Amanda would be in charge of one of the three classrooms that were predominantly alien. Most of her students wouldn’t be looking to her for their actual education – that was typically handled via correspondence with their home world – but rather for her guidance in all the things one couldn’t find in a book. These were the children of diplomats and business leaders, and many would be expected to follow in their parent’s chosen profession someday and they needed to learn how to communicate and interact with species other than their own. The mornings would be spent in individual study and the afternoons would be comparison lessons and short field trips – anything Amanda and the students thought would be beneficial. The students would be guiding much of what they studied and Amanda was excited for the chance to lead a classroom of dedicated and interested students.

She nearly fainted when she rounded the corner of the administrative suite to find Sarek standing there deep in conversation with the headmaster. She must have made a sound, for they both turned to look at her at the same time. Headmaster Roberts looked vaguely displeased for some reason and Amanda’s heart sank. ‘He must be here about that damn photo,’ she thought. She steeled herself to make another round of denials when Sarek’s amused not-smile caught her attention.

The Vulcan Ambassador clearly did not share the Headmaster’s concerns, whatever they were. Rather, he looked pleased to see her and Amanda felt herself smile in response. There was a rustle of fabric and Amanda chuckled when she saw a small Vulcan face peak around from behind the ambassador’s dark robes.

“ _Sochya eh dif_ , Amanda.” Sarek held his hand up in greeting.

“ _Dif tor heh smusma_ , Ambassador.” Amanda emphasized his title and Sarek’s head dipped in response to her gentle teasing. “Is that Sybok?”

Sybok peaked out again before ducking back and Amanda valiantly fought her desire to laugh at the shy boy. Sarek reached down and took his son’s hand. “Yes, Amanda. I have been investigating the Academy after our discussion and I have decided that Sybok could indeed benefit from attending.” He pushed the small boy forward and Sybok eyed her with a mix of trepidation and curiosity. “ _He is shy._ ” Sarek said softly in Vulcan, his eyes flickering to the headmaster who looked on in confusion, clearly not understanding the language. “ _He is younger than your other students, but based on the scholastic information the headmaster has provided, I believe he is academically on par with them._ ”

Amanda nodded. “ _From what little I know of Vulcan educational systems, I’d expect that to be the case._ ” She knelt down to be more at eye level with the boy and smiled gently. “ _Hello, Sybok. It looks like I will be your teacher here, if that’s alright with you?”_

The little boy nodded and looked up at his father for confirmation. “Yes.” Sarek replied in Standard. “Miss Grayson will be your teacher while you are here.” He turned back to Amanda. “My schedule does not allow Sybok to attend daily. I have been discussing with the headmaster how best to integrate him into the class.”

“Well, from what Headmaster Roberts provided me, I believe we have several students who are attending only on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We could try for that?” Amanda offered, ignoring the pinched expression on Robert’s face. “I assume there will be times where you’ll be traveling with him and he will have to miss classes. The afternoon lessons aren’t something we can make up, but if we plan ahead as much as possible we’ll try and make sure he’s still exposed to as many cultures as we can.”

“Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.” Sarek agreed, his eyes again light with something that appeared to be amusement. “His lessons for the morning are already loaded to your classroom system. It may take some time for him to adjust to the style of education you have here, but I believe in his ability to adapt.” He looked down at his son and his gaze softened further. “Sybok is a very capable child. A prodigy in fact.”

“Of course he is.” Amanda agreed. “He takes after his father, don’t you, Sybok?”

The little boy nodded and nearly smiled before controlling himself. Sarek shared a meaningful look with Amanda. “He is still learning Disciplines.” He explained, his hand gently smoothing his son’s hair in encouragement. “He is only eight. Please have patience with him.”

“Eight and _half_.” Sybok corrected, his little eyes blazing. He took a big step away from his father before seeming to remember there were strangers present and moving closer again. 

“Why you’re nearly grown!” Amanda bit her lip as Sybok brightened. The Headmaster still seemed displeased and Amanda motioned for her teaching assistance who happened to be passing, a young girl she’d met the day before during orientation, to come over. “Helen, would you do me the favor of taking Sybok to my classroom? I need to have a short chat with the Headmaster and Ambassador Sarek.”

Helen’s eyes widened as she caught sight of Sarek and she froze in place. “Helen?” Amanda prompted.

“Oh, yes- of course, Ms. Grayson.” Helen shook herself. “Sybok is it?” The little boy nodded. “I’m Helen. I’ll be helping Ms. Grayson out in your classroom.” The young woman smiled. “Why don’t we go and get you settled in?” 

Sybok looked to his father who nodded. He obediently trotted off after Helen and Amanda couldn’t help but smile fondly as the small boy started asking question after question as soon as they were away from the ‘adults’. 

“Helen isn’t nearly as young as she looks.” Amanda assured Sarek when they’d turned the far corner and were out of hearing range. “But she looks so young the children assume she’s one of them. It makes it easier for them to ask questions of her.”

“A very astute observation, Amanda.” Sarek replied. “Now,” he turned to the Headmaster, “I am gathering from your continual negative facial expressions that you are concerned about something, Headmaster Roberts.”

The headmaster motioned for them to come into his office and he shut the door. “Yes, I am.” He sat down behind his desk and glared at Amanda. “I do not care to have this school involved with a scandal.”

“A scandal?” Amanda asked incredulously. “Now wait just one minute! What do you think is going on?”

“Come on, Amanda. I saw the photos just like everyone else.” He argued. 

Amanda pinched her nose. “Jacob, we went over this at the orientation and I’m sure the Ambassador will confirm it for you. We had _coffee_. What those press vultures make out of it is sheer fiction. The last time I checked, drinking a caffeinated beverage with another person in a public space does not a scandal constitute.”

Sarek raised an eyebrow. “Ah. My secretary had indicated that there was some sort of article published. I have not seen it.” 

“It’s been everywhere!” Roberts insisted, tossing a hard copy over his desk towards the ambassador. Sarek picked it up and quickly scanned the article, his eyebrow raising as he read it.

“Why do humans persist in such pointless speculation?” Sarek complained. “Amanda is correct. She offered to answer questions I had over common Earth cultural practices and we discussed your Academy at some length. It was that conversation that lead me to enrolling Sybok.”

“While it’s a pleasure to have the son of such an important member of the Federation enrolled,” Roberts shook his head and changed tactics. “Look, I just don’t want to find out later that there’s some kind of funny business happening and have you put that boy and this school in the middle of it. Do I make myself clear? This Academy is a place of learning. I would strongly prefer it if you allowed me to place Sybok in another room.”

“I specifically asked for Ms. Grayson for a reason.” Sarek insisted. “The other two instructors do not know Vulcan and Sybok’s grasp of Standard is good – but not perfect. While Amanda has little experience with our species, her travels have exposed her to several telepathic races. There are certain cultural and behavioral standards that must be observed for Sybok’s comfort and the privacy of those he interacts with. I was able to ascertain during our conversation that she is familiar with the majority of these.” He pulled a datacard out of his robes and handed it to her, careful to keep their fingers from touching. “The rest are on here.”

“I’ll review them while the children work this morning. I’m sure Sybok can tell me if I do something that makes him uncomfortable?” She asked.

“I have warned him that most of the children and faculty will require education on this matter.” Sarek acknowledged. “I trust you will inform me if there are problems?”

“Of course.” Amanda ignored the headmaster’s continued glare. “I try and meet with parents at least once a month to check in on progress.”

“Excellent. I will have my secretary arrange for such.” He turned to her boss. “If that is all, headmaster?”

“Yes.” Roberts stood and walked them to the door. “Please, I mean no offense by sharing my concerns with you. I hope you understand.”

“No offense is taken where none was meant.” Sarek replied evenly. He turned to Amanda. “May we converse on the way to your classroom? There are a few things I wish to discuss.”

“By all means.” Amanda nodded at Roberts and silently agreed to talk with him after school. 

The halls were deserted this close to the start of classes and Amanda was greatful for it. Sarek took some time to form his words. 

“ _I am sorry if I have caused you distress.”_ Sarek spoke softly, slipping back into his native tongue.

“ _Neither of us expected to make the gossip pages._ Amanda sighed. “ _I hadn’t realized anyone out here knew who I was or would care who I took coffee with. I should be the one apologizing to you.”_

Sarek waved off her concern. “ _As ambassador from Vulcan my movements are often tracked by your planet’s reporters. They seem to have an unnatural fascination with the private lives of anyone in public life. Even had you not been connected to your grandfather it is likely that our outing would have caught attention.”_ Sarek hesitated. _”I neglected to consider this when I accepted your offer to continue our conversation. However, I do not regret it.”_

Amanda dipped her head to hide her blush. _”Neither do I._

They reached her classroom door and Sarek bowed slightly. “ _Peace be with you, T-Amanda. I will look forward to hearing on Sybok’s progress._

“ _And to you, Sarek._ ” Amanda raised her hand in farwell and Sarek’s eyes seemed to soften at the sight. She watched him retreat down the hall for several moments before she pushed opened her door and went in to face her new class.


	3. Getting to Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Embassy described is set in a house that I totally grabbed at random off a Google search. 2724 Pacific Ave, San Francisco, CA 94115. The majority of the action will be set here from now on.
> 
> http://www.trulia.com/property/3134810501-2724-Pacific-Ave-San-Francisco-CA-94115

Amanda’s first day went fairly smoothly, as first days go. Her class was split 50/50 between non-human and human children and while Sybok was the youngest, he was still fairly advanced compared to many of the others. The morning was spent at their independent studies which left her and Helen doing little more than ground breaker exercises to get them to know one another and helping here or there with particularly nasty problems or technical issues. 

They were a quiet bunch, and intent on their studies in a way Amanda knew was peculiar to advance students – at least human advanced students. She’d taken some time to look over all their reports during the week between her previous job and this one and with the exception of Sybok she knew in general terms what she could expect. As she’d suspected the one human girl in the room, Maria Poliski, was going to be a handful. She was brilliant – too brilliant – and even her advanced independent work wasn’t enough to hold her attention if one wasn’t very careful. Two other schools had already given up on her and Amanda had already added more than a half dozen tasks to the list that her tutors had left. In fact, Amanda had already sent a message to the girl’s father suggesting he turn her education over to the Academy entirely rather than relying on the mix that the other students had. Maria needed a constant rotation of things to keep her interest up or she’d get bored and stop working on them. The distance instruction was not going to be hands on enough for this girl. A bored genius was _never_ a good thing. 

Maria was already eyeing the science equipment with a gleam that Amanda knew spelled trouble so when the first scheduled break of the day arrived she distracted her with a computer algorithm that Star Fleet had an outstanding prize for completion of. It was the kind of thing a college grad student would work on in their spare time. Amanda suspected that Maria would solve it – probably within a week if she could keep her attention on it. But that was the problem with students like Maria. Brilliant, but without focus, they rarely finished anything they started.

Sybok was seated next to the girl, all the desks in the room open but far enough apart and of fairly large size so as to keep them all from getting too friendly during the morning hours. The afternoon sessions were for group activities and discussion at which point they’d be moving to the other side of the room and the less formal chairs and cushions. Sybok didn’t seem to know what to do given as much freedom as the room presented. And the way he kept frowning in the direction of Maria was slightly concerning. The girl wasn’t being disruptive _yet_ , but apparently Sybok could see it coming just as easily as Amanda.

The afternoon sessions were a blur of excited children and animated play. The first thing they needed to do was get the kids all comfortable with one another. Many of the human children had never seen a non-human child before and they played several getting-to-know you games. Because of Sybok, Amanda was careful to alter the plans so there was no physical contact and she made a mental note to change up some of the rest of the week’s plans to have substitute activities for when he was there. He was the only touch telepath in the group, in fact the only telepath in the school. Amanda wanted badly to read the data tape Sarek had given her, but there just wasn’t time. Sybok didn’t seem to be too terribly uncomfortable with anything they were doing and the discrete status checks she made with him were always met with a polite “I am adjusting adequately to this new environment, Ms. Grayson.” His dark eyes weren’t relaxed, though, and Amanda knew he was finding his control taxed. It was a difficult age for Vulcans, Amanda guessed – learning the Disciplines and trying to be a child at the same time, and the accelerated learning that the species expected was a burden to him. He was gifted, Amanda could see that, but Sybok didn’t seem to enjoy what he was doing. Of course, that could be her misreading alien emotions, but Amanda didn’t think that was it.

That night she curled up on her sofa with a glass of hot cider and the data card. Some of it she knew – Vulcans were touch telepaths with the main portion of their ability centered in the nerves on their finger tips. They were also sensitive to having their face touched and to a slightly lesser degree the spinal area. That all made perfect sense. What she wasn’t expecting was the chapter on empathy. She leaned forward as she read it, a growing sense of dread taking over. Sarek had included this, marking it confidential, and his elegant annotations were taking up considerable space in margins.

Apparently some Vulcans were sensitive enough they could pick up on stray thoughts or emotions without touch. In fact, some were able to communicate non-verbally, to pass memories and impressions even without prior contact. It was a rare gift, and apparently one father and son _shared_.

Amanda let the padd fall from her limp fingers. Sarek could pick up emotions, stray thoughts…anything particularly strong that someone near him was feeling or thinking. And that night, in the restaurant…she’d had some particularly strong thoughts and feelings.

She blushed red.

Sarek had wanted her to know, he’d very carefully arranged it under the guise of Sybok, but Amanda could read between the lines. He’d wanted her to know that he _knew_ what she’d been thinking. That he’d gone up to her table _knowing_ what she’d been feeling. Had it been anyone else, Amanda would have suspected his motives. After all, what male goes up to a female they know is sexually frustrated and without ulterior motives? Yet he’d not made a single move, or at least one she could recognize. And he’d assured the headmaster that there wasn’t anything scandal worthy happening. He must not have realized what it was he’d been picking up from her. That must be it.

 _He touched my hands._ Her brain supplied, as if to argue the point, and Amanda closed her eyes, the ghost of his touch seeming to electrify the skin of her fingers once more.

At the time, it had seemed intimate – Amanda had recognized that, both in her own flush and the look in Sarek’s eyes as he’d done it. Vulcan or not, he’d looked mischievous, slightly naughty, a hint of hesitation and nervousness in the gesture that belied its seeming casualness. The sheet said it was _never_ done between strangers. And if Sarek was able to pick up on things without touch, what had he learned about her when he _had_ touched her – and so intimately? 

Amanda took a shaky breath and forced herself to read the rest of it. There were no more surprises and the only thing Amanda knew she had to change was where Sybok was seated. Maria was probably a bundle of mental energy that he found horrifically distracting. She vowed to switch the desks around some the next day.

Sybok wasn’t there the next morning he was scedualed to attend, but neither was the Antarin ambassador’s daughter Vesrela, so Amanda suspected there was a big to-do in the diplomatic community. She used the time to shuffle everyone’s desks, putting one of the older and more settled students in the desk closest to him. Amanda made a calculated risk and sent home assignments to bring in one of their species social conventions for the following Tuesday afternoon and they would all share them and discuss how and why they developed. She included a suggestion in Sybok’s that he might want to discuss Vulcans and the generally excepted physical contact rules. It would be a good time for him to introduce the class to it, and they might pay more attention if it came from him rather than on high. That would also mean that Sybok and Sarek had control of what exactly was shared rather than have her risk revealing something they’d rather not have made public. She asked the human children to compare notes and make sure they were all discussing something different. 

Sarek’s secretary had no trouble scheduling the parent-teacher conferences and Amanda stared at the dates with a growing sense of alarm. Most of the parents were busy, and very few had seemed to understand the importance of the once a month meetings. Some had in fact flat out refused to meet more than once a quarter and others had agreed, but not tried very hard to make it work. But Sarek hadn’t bulked at any of it. In fact, he’d scheduled each conference with a primary time, a backup, and even arranged for a stellar com connection should the need arise. And when she returned home that evening she found a detailed report from the ambassador describing Sybok’s progress on his independent lessons for the day as well as an apology for his missing class. Apparently there was a credible threat called in to Federation headquarters and most of the diplomatic circle had secured their families out of concern. Sarek promised it had been handled and that Sybok would be there the following day – and thanked her for the suggestion on how to handle informing the class about protocols with Sybok and that his son would be prepared to present on it the next day.

Whatever game Sarek was playing, Amanda had no doubt that he was devoted to his son. He wasn’t using Sybok to his determinant, as least not where his education was concerned -that was clear. And Amanda was positive the boy would benefit from the Academy. If nothing else, it was giving him some time with kids his own age, which he didn’t have at the embassy. 

But what the hell was Sarek up to?

* * *

The next three weeks went by without a catastrophe. Sybok was in class more than he was out, even attending on days other than what she and Sarek had discussed, and after a few days he seemed to find his feet. He stopped frowning quite as much at Maria and Amanda had been quite pleased when she saw the two practicing meditation techniques during the lunch hour. Apparently Maria thought aliens were _not boring_ and was willing to pay attention to Sybok based solely on that fact. And Sybok, apparently fed up with Maria’s unpredictable behavior and lack of attention span, had decided to do something about it. For her part, Maria was finally starting to settle down and the two had even started collaborating on several projects. Amanda secretly relished the expression on the Star Fleet officer’s face when she’d hand delivered Maria and Sybok’s work on the algorithm. They weren’t the only ones to finish the challenge of course, but Amanda suspected their solution would be the most interesting. They’d dismantled the background work that had been included and re-written a good deal of it. It would do what Star Fleet wanted with the long range sensor arrays and at twice the efficiency they’d asked for.

She was scheduled to meet with Sarek for the first time that evening and she was going armed with all her notes on Sybok and the rest of the class. She had no idea what to expect. They were meeting at the embassy, even though Sarek had offered to come to the school. There were still some security concerns floating around and Amanda didn’t want to expose the Ambassador to any more risk than necessary. Sybok and the other diplomatic students had missed several days when there had been no security escort to get them to the academy and Amanda knew that whatever was going on, it was bad. If they were running out of guards, and it wasn’t just one embassy, then something truly monumental was happening.

When she arrived at the embassy there was a line of security officers posted at strategic places along the block. There were over a half dozen embassies in a row here, nearest the Federation headquarters, and Amanda eyed the red uniforms with concern. She walked through two bomb and weapon detection fields before she got to the gate and found another set of security men. They didn’t stop her from going up to the door, but she could feel their eyes on her as she pressed the intercom. 

A Vulcan woman in the plain brown robes of a lower level staffer met her at the door and led her through to a private conference room. The embassy was in an old Victorian mansion in the Pacific Heights neighborhood with views of the water, and Amanda tried not to be too obvious as she gawked at the interior. The conference room was in what she suspected used to be a drawing room. The sun came in through large windows and even though it wasn’t cold out there was a fire set in the hearth. Amanda suspected it was chilly for the Vulcans and she knew they’d be glad when construction on the new embassy was completed. The Victorian was lovely, and on loan to the Vulcans from a wealthy business man with trade ties to Vulcan home world, but it wasn’t a place she suspected they could get comfortable. It was too…human.

Sarek came in moments after she’d sat down and he closed the double doors with a soft click. When he turned to look at her, she couldn’t help but dip her eyes. She fumbled with her padd and the handful of data disks. “I brought along a copy of that algorithm I wrote you about.”

She held it out and Sarek took it, his fingers brushing her’s ever so slightly as he did so. “Thank you.” He said gently. “Sybok was very enthusiastic about this project and I would like to review his work in more depth. I believe you call it a ‘real world problem’?”

“Yes.” Amanda forced her voice to stay even. “I’ve found that children respond well to having assignments with actual purpose. Often they can’t conceive the value in purely theoretical work, but if they can see an output that has a use, they work harder at it. He’s been teaming up with one of the human students, Maria, and I’d originally given this to her. But she’s got a short attention span and isn’t great with details. Sybok’s been letting her do a lot of the intuitive leaps forward and he’s hanging back and cleaning up the problems she’s blown past in her rush to finish it. They work very well together.”

“He talks of little else.” Sarek sat down across from her, a near smile in his eyes. “I had not imagined that he would,” Sarek hesitated. “Fit in? Is that the correct term?”

“Yes.” Amanda nodded, growing more comfortable as the conversation stayed on Sybok. “I dare say he’s making friends.”

Sarek’s eyebrow rose. “Interesting. The human notion of friends is not one we have found true comparison to in my culture.”

“What do you call it when two people enjoy shared activities and seek out time together?”

“I suppose we do not quantify it.” Sarek steepled his fingers he sought for words to explain. “On Vulcan, we tend to ignore formalizing relations between individuals unless there is a mental bond present. Causal working relationships or even ones such as Sybok and Maria are sharing, do take place with just as much frequency, I assure you. We simply to do not have a name for it. Sybok would call her a classmate. Words that translate from Vulcan into ‘friend’ are actually designating a deeper connection. I do not believe such is possible without both parties being telepathic but I do not know. Very few of my kind have spent long enough with a non-Vulcan to find out. I would surmise it would take a highly gifted telepath to manage.”

“Which Sybok is.” Amanda countered. “Should I be concerned about it?”

“No.” Sarek waved his hand dismissively. “Sybok is bonded to his future wife already and if he does form a lesser bond with this Maria it will be based on this ‘friendship’. It would only make them both more aware of the emotional status of the other and they would likely know when either is in physical distress. It may, however, help this child with her wild nature as I imagine Sybok would feel it necessary to temper her erratic hyperactivity.”

Amanda chuckled. “Did he tell you he’s been teaching her about meditation?”

Sarek’s eyebrow rose and they spent the rest of the conference discussing the merits of Sybok teaching the other children the basics of some of the minor Vulcan disciplines. Sarek found it amusing that Maria had taken to it with such enthusiasm but Amanda warned him that with Maria it could just be a passing fancy. “Who knows if it will last the term.” She cautioned. 

“Still, considering Sybok’s heritage it is rather poignant.” Sarek replied evenly.

“Heritage?” Amanda asked as she gathered up the disks.

“We are the direct descendants of Surak.” Sarek supplied without a hint of boasting – stating it as if were as everyday a fact as the weather.

Amanda stilled. “ _The Surak?_ As in the founder of modern Vulcan philosophy? The guy credited with saving your _species_?”

Sarek’s eyes glinted with ill-concealed amusement. “Do you know of another?”

“That practically makes you royalty!”

“Vulcan recognizes no modern royal line and the historic have fallen out of use. My late wife did actually descend from one of the main branches of the Tavelar Dynastic line and could, in theory, have claimed the title princess had she desired. I assure you, however, that Surak’s line while well respected is hardly _royal_ as Earthers would consider it.” He pulled another data card out of his robe and set it down gently on top of the pile she was clutching to her chest. “We are well respected, Amanda.” He said softly, his eyes now serious and somehow deeper. “We carry the weight of public responsibility, it is true, but we receive no special treatment from others. We must earn our places, just as all Vulcans must. That the majority feel an obligation to public service is, perhaps, owed to our ancestor.” He reached a hand up slowly and brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear and Amanda’s breath caught. “As is our appreciation for infinite diversity.”


	4. Suspicious Minds

Sarek was not helping Amanda’s sexual frustration one bit. Every time she’d met him over the 6 months she’d been teaching Sybok, he found some excuse to touch her. If he’d been human, Amanda wouldn’t have been effected like this. But Vulcan’s don’t just _touch_ people and Amanda knew it. And Sarek knew she knew. Which is probably why he looked so damn smug every time he did it.

Whatever game he was playing, he was getting bolder. He’d helped her on with her jacket after the last conference and he’d smoothed down the shoulders, his hands lingering on her arms. When he’d lifted her hair free of the collar he’d let the back of his fingers brush the nap of her neck and there was no way he misinterpreted the quick breath she’d taken at the action. When he’d moved around front, his own eyes had been dark and Amanda had not imagined that his breath was just a hint faster than normal.

Tensions within the diplomatic community were rising and there were rumors that one of the anti-Federation groups was planning a major terrorist action. Security surrounding all the embassies had tripled and the Academy had been forced to allow bodyguards into the school. They had too many students with connections to the Federation and they couldn’t risk the safety of any of their charges. It had gotten so bad that even the teachers were now being escorted to and from the Academy in armored transport or beamed directly from their homes into the school. Amanda’s mother had begged her to quit, but Amanda had grown to love not just the job but the random brilliant students that had found their way into her care and she wasn’t about to let some xenophobic nut case scare her into abandoning them. Helen had already quit and Amanda hadn’t bothered to replace her, telling the headmaster it was fine. And it was. Her students loved to direct their own learning and with the majority working on correspondence courses she had little to do other than supervise and guide. They didn’t expect her to know the answers, only how to find them, and all ten students had started working as a real team to uncover knowledge that they wanted. It was a sight to behold and Amanda would move into her damn classroom if she had to just to keep it going.

Sarek and Sybok were scheduled to return to Vulcan for a few months and Amanda found herself already missing them even before they left. Sybok and Maria were inseparable in the days leading up to their departure and when the day finally came Maria was in tears. She held herself back, clearly wanting to wrap her arms around Sybok, and when Sarek came to personally pick his son up, with a complete guard of red uniformed Star Fleet officers behind him, Maria sank to the floor, her small frame fairly vibrating as she tried to hold herself together. Sybok said something to his father, and Sarek nodded, and Amanda watched fascinated as the boy crossed the room and enveloped the girl in a strong hug.

By this point the entire class knew that you did not touch Sybok. When they’d played ball outside, and he’d fallen and skinned his knee, he’d born the touch of the school nurse with fairly obvious agitation and from then on everyone had been intensely careful to avoid accidently coming into contact with him. Now, as he willingly pulled his friend into a rather stiff hug the class held its collective breath.

Slowly Maria calmed, her hands clutched into her friends heavy robes. When Sybok finally pulled away Maria had stopped crying. “I’m coming back.” Sybok said softly and Maria nodded. “And father set up a communication channel just for us through the embassy. With the diplomatic clearance we can speak real time.” He reminded her. “And Ms. Grayson is going to let me call in for some of the afternoon classes. We can even keep working on that new algorithm Star Fleet asked us to look into.” Sybok held her hands gently. “I promise I won’t stay way forever.”

Maria sniffled. “You’ll be gone months, Sybok. And you’re my only friend.”

The rest of the class made a sound of protest and Vesrela came forward to kneel at her other side, careful not to brush Sybok. “We’re your friends, Maria. We’re a team.” She smiled softly and gently moved Maria to lean into her so Sybok could stand back up. “Now, what will Ambassador Sarek think of us if we all keep blubbering like this? Maybe he won’t let Sybok come back if he thinks we are all emotional head cases.”

Sybok frowned slightly. “Maria is not an ‘emotional head case’.”

Vesrela rolled her eyes. “I _know_. But she can’t look much better to your father, Sybok.”

Sybok looked back towards Sarek and raised an eyebrow. Sarek answered back with his own and Amanda got the sense they were communicating more with that gesture than was openly evident. “Father understands.” Sybok replied and reached into his robes to pull out a data card. He handed it to Maria. “That has all the codes you need to reach me.” He said calmly.

Maria held up a shaking hand, her fingers falling into formation. _“Sochya eh dif, Sybok”._

“ _“Dif tor heh smusma, Maria.”_ he replied and moved away towards his father. Amanda followed them out of the room, trusting the older students to keep order for just a few minutes while she said goodbye in the hall.

Sybok turned to her after the door closed with a slight look of distress on his face. “Ms. Grayson, please, can you keep an eye on Maria for me?” His young eyes were shadowed in a way that made Amanda deeply concerned. “I do not know what is wrong,” Sybok continued gravely. “But there is more upsetting her than my return to Vulcan. She will not tell me, and I will not invade her privacy to find out. But I am deeply concerned for her.”

“I will, I promise.” Amanda vowed, kneeling down to eye level. “Can you guess what it might be, Sybok?”

“I do not care to speculate without data.” He replied, his hand twitching slightly where he rested it across his middle an in unconscious bid for self comfort. 

“Do you have a working hypothesis?” Sarek asked gently, also kneeling down, his leg coming into slight contact with Amanda’s.

Sybok looked troubled. “I believe…” he hesitated, eyeing the guards. Sarek waved them back a ways and he continued, switching to Vulcan. “ _I believe something is going on with her family. Her father sent her here against her mother’s wishes. According to the custody agreement arranged after her parents separated, she must return to her mother’s residence for half the year. She did so last week and while her mother has consented to allow her to remain in the Academy during her time there, I do not believe Maria enjoys living with her mother.”_ Sybok’s frown deepened. “ _I do not wish to cause trouble where there is none,”_ he shook his head. Please, T-Amanda,” he pleaded. “ _Something is not right in that house and I do not know what._ ”

A cold feeling of dread entered her and she shared a look with Sarek. He seemed troubled over his son’s words but Amanda could see that he had no conception of what kind of trouble it could be, not like Amanda did. Sarek’s hand sneaked out to touch hers behind the discrete folds of his robe and Amanda grasped it firmly. She felt a slight awareness of him, a gentle inquiry, and she sent him her scattered thoughts, her worst fears – abuse, neglect, an overly friendly uncle, an emotional crippling parent… Amanda had no idea what the problem was, but the possibilities were numerous and it frightened her. Maria was very good at covering for things, and was a master manipulator –that was clear from all her pervious school’s reports. What if all of her bad behavior had been a cover for something worse? Sybok had been the first person to get close to the young genius. Had he noticed something they had all missed?

Sarek’s eyes held hers and as he processed that information his body stiffened. When he let go of her hand, Amanda could feel it vibrate with contained fury. He nodded to his son and stood up slowly, Amanda following his motion. “Sybok, would you please go and join the security detail in the transport?” Sarek asked, his voice carefully controlled. “I wish to speak with your teacher for a moment.”

“Yes, Father.” Sybok responded, eyeing them carefully. The boy had not missed their silent exchange.

When he was gone, Sarek pulled her to an empty alcove a ways down the hall. “Such things happen?” He asked, his voice hard and his eyes piercing. “Human parents would do those _things_ to their own children?”

“Evil people, Sarek, happen everywhere.” Amanda sighed tiredly and sank down onto the bench. “It’s just speculation. It could just be that her mother is more strict than her father, and doesn’t let her paint her toe-nails. They are kids. If she doesn’t like living there, it might be just something small.”

“Or it could be something very large.” Sarek replied, his large frame blocking the light from the hall. “Something in my son’s words caused you to jump towards the worse of the possibilities. Why?”

Amanda closed her eyes. “Sybok went there first, Sarek. He didn’t want to say it, but couldn’t you see it? In his eyes? He’s worried for her safety and he can’t even pin point why. I’m gathering he would never intentionally read her mind, but he’s got to have picked up on a lot of emotions, a few stray thoughts. They are nearly always together. And she’s been staying just a little further away from him the last couple days, and I’d assumed it was because of the trip – I thought she was mad at him for going away for awhile. But what if she didn’t want to risk him sensing something? She’s a brilliant mind, Sarek, and she knows your son is not only a touch telepath but a gifted empath as well.”

“What can we do?” Sarek demanded softly. “I cannot do nothing if the child is in danger.”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Amanda stated grimly, standing. “I’ll see if I can get her to talk, but unless I have a statement or direct evidence of abuse, the most I can do is report my suspicions. And without anything to back them up, it wont’ go anywhere and right now it would be a totally unfounded allegation. All I have is Sybok’s word there’s something the matter. But I will keep a close eye on her, a _very close eye_.” Amanda frowned. “And I’ll see if I can’t meet her mother in the next few days – preferably at their house. I want to see what’s going on there first hand.”

Sarek pulled a data card from his robes that seemed to match the one Sybok had given Maria. His words confirmed it. “This is the security code and frequency to our private channel. If you learn something, I would appreciate knowing, if you can tell me. I understand there will most likely be some level of confidentiality involved. But Maria’s mother sits on the Federation Advisory Council as one of Earth’s commercial logistic experts. I know her, and I do not consider her to be a very trustworthy person.” Sarek left unsaid why he felt that way, but Amanda could see a grim determination in his eyes. “I tried to convince her to allow Maria to visit Vulcan with Sybok and they could continue their studies together. I thought it would be beneficial to show her the planet and she could visit some of the temples. She has become an avid learner of the Disciplines and I thought she might find it meaningful. Her father readily agreed, recognizing the extraordinary opportunity for what it was – few off worlders are ever offered such a chance – but her mother refused. I am uncomfortable with this situation, Amanda.”

Amanda took the disk. “I know.”

He looked down at her and his eyes softened. “If I thought for one moment you would take time and join us, I would have extended the offer to you.”

“I have to stay here and watch Maria.” Amanda replied. “Now more than ever the class needs me.”

Sarek nodded. “There are other matters of concern, matters I cannot warn you of.” His eyes flickered to the security detail in the hall. “I assume you have guessed that there is trouble coming.”

“It was fairly obvious.” Amanda replied with a tight smile. “Does your trip home have anything to do with this?”

“Sybok is first my priority.” Sarek replied. “I must insure his safety. I will be returning within the week, once I have Sybok settled back in our home village.”

“I thought this was a family trip?” Amanda hesitated. “Sarek, what’s going on?”

His mouth turned down in a grim line. “Amanda, I would tell you if it was within my power to do so. All I can say is to be cautious and do not attempt to circumvent your security escort.” He reached up and brushed a finger along her cheekbone and Amanda shivered. His eyes softened as he gazed down at her. “There are conversations you and I have yet to have and I would not wish to lose you before we have settled them, if I were to lose you at all.”

His hand stopped at her hair line and he held it there, his greater body heat making his finger burn like a brand. “What are you doing, Sarek?” she asked, her voice shaky.

“I do not know.” He replied, still not moving and his own voice oddly toned. “I find that where you are concerned my logic is uncertain.” He hesitated than lowered his hand, his eyes seeming to hold regret. “When I return, would you consent to dine with me, Amanda? Even without Sybok as a pretense?”

“Yes.” She agreed and moved reluctantly back, just then realizing that she’d leaned dangerously forward. 

“Good.” He replied, his eyes intense. _“Sochya eh dif, Amanda.”_

“ _Dif tor heh smusma, Sarek._ ”


	5. Outside the Rules

Amanda was tense in the following days, splitting her attention between watching Maria like a hawk and eyeing the ever increasing security around the school with trepidation. Several other high ranking Federation parents had pulled their children, many doing as Sarek had and taking them off world. Amanda was down to only 6 of her 10 students and even the headmaster was looking grim and paranoid. _Something_ was worrying the people in the know, and the fact that they were all making pathetic justifications rather than telling the truth was frankly terrifying. 

Maria’s mother had made her own excuses to put off meeting, and Amanda was now convinced something was going on in that house. When she talked to Sarek, he confessed that he had melded with his son and helped sort through his suspicions but could not find any direct evidence. Sybok had picked up on some of Maria’s random thoughts and emotions and Sarek knew for sure that she feared her mother, and that more than once it had been a physical fear, but Sybok never saw any actual abuse and Maria had learned enough from him about the Disciplines that she was able to clamp down on most of her mind’s projecting enough that whatever it was, Sybok hadn’t been able to zero in on it even though he’d started to actively try – much to his father’s consternation. 

The girl was uncharacteristically quiet without Sybok, and as the number of her classmates leaving increased she grew more and more withdrawn. Amanda was deeply worried. Maria hadn’t tried a single prank in weeks, hadn’t talked back once, was never late taking her seat, and never raised her hand to speak. It was a different child and Amanda finally couldn’t stand it anymore. She went to the headmaster with her concerns. As she’d suspected he would, he brushed it off as common melancholy over being back with her mother and Sybok’s absence. When Jacob politely told her to stop worrying, Amanda discreetly went to the authorities. When they told her there wasn’t a thing they could do without evidence Amanda got mad.

And whenever Amanda got mad, Amanda stopped playing by the rules. 

She was her grandfather’s favorite for a reason and Arthur Grayson hadn’t built Earth’s largest interstellar shipping corporation by being a rule follower. In fact, like the robber barons of the old west, Arthur Grayson had constructed his empire through grit, guts, and a ruthlessness that would have shocked the polite society that his family traveled in. Arthur could be charming one moment, and quietly handle a problem in a back alley the next. Despite her mother’s protestations, Amanda had spent her youth at his knee and learned a thing or two. While she had no desire to run the family company, and would often cringe at her grandfather’s less public business dealings, Amanda had the same streak of stubborn bullheadedness in her and a distinct willingness to accomplish a goal _with any means necessary._ And right now, Amanda wanted to make sure Maria was safe. She turned the focus of her Grayson resolve square on that problem and tossed out school policy, the law, and public opinion. Once those were removed, there really was only one answer.

Sarek was back and they’d been quietly exchanging information since his return. Mostly about Maria, but he’d been slipping small tidbits of intelligence about whatever plot was happening – when to keep the children in the classroom, when he thought it safe to venture to a museum or exhibit. When they did go out, he loaned her several of the Vulcan guard that had returned with him, even though Sybok was not with the class. Little Maria wouldn’t talk to her about what was happening but Vulcans had ways of learning things that didn’t require talking. Sarek had raised an eyebrow at her suggestion but he didn’t hesitate to put the plan into action. A healer known to work well with children was quietly placed onto the next shuttle to Earth. It was Amanda’s idea to dress her as one of the guards and walk her right through the front door of the Academy. It was Sarek’s idea that the healer should share his family’s empathetic gifts.

By this point the other teachers were used to seeing the stoic Vulcans escorting Amanda’s class to and from so when an extra woman showed in the same uniform they didn’t pay any attention, even though she wasn’t armed and she was a head shorter than they allowed in the Vulcan military, and entirely white haired. 

T-Pae was the oldest Vulcan Amanda had ever seen and she had a quiet grace about her that made her seem more approachable than the larger Vulcan guards, or even Sarek. Her face was no more expressive, but there was a lightness to her that the children responded to instantly. She came every day for a week before she approached Maria specifically, and Amanda carefully avoided paying too much attention to their conversation as she helped Zack with his calculus. 

That afternoon when the children were all safely in the hands of escorts and on the way home, T-Pae approached, her expression grim. “Sybok was wise to be concerned.” She stated, her eyes narrowed and her mouth puckered in distaste. “The child is stressed, unhappy. Sybok has taught her enough of the Disciplines she is deflecting casual enquiry without even knowing it.” T-Pae shook her head. “She would not tell me what the matter is, but what little came through her shielding is disturbing. I caught flashes of arguments between a person I assume is her mother and a figure that looms dark in her mind. It is a presence she fears and loathes with equal measure. I could not see a face, and the figure never seemed to have direct contact with the child, but there is something causing her mind to interpret this person as nothing more than swirling malevolence.” T-Pae looked around the empty classroom. “Come back with me to the embassy. Sarek will wish to confer over what is to be done.”

Amanda agreed and packed her bag hurriedly. She and Sarek had been unable to arrange the dinner they’d discussed, his schedule having filled due to whatever it was going on, so Amanda had not seen him face to face since Sybok’s departure. She was oddly eager to do so, and she tried not to think about why as they took the Embassy transport back. _She_ didn’t have shields, after all, and T-Pae was trained in how to use her empathy to full advantage with children. It would be more than easy for the old woman to do so now to her. T-Pae must have sensed some of her emotion, for she eyed Amanda questioningly, but made no comment.

Sarek greeted them and ushered them back to the same conference room as before. Spring had yet to fully take, and the outside temperature was colder now than the first time she’d been in the room. The fire was going merrily and several small space heaters were placed around the room to give it as much warmth as possible. Amanda had developed an odd affection for the couch near the hearth during her many parent-teacher meetings here, and she took her customary seat without thought. T-Pae raised an eyebrow at her easy familiarity with the place, before lowering herself down into a small chair.

T-Pae filled Sarek in on what she had told Amanda before moving forward with her own speculations. “Maria is clearly not psi-nil.” T-Pae stated firmly. “She is not a telepath, that is clear, however her ability to block me so thoroughly would indicate that she has some potential in this area. I would suspect that if she were to have children with another of such an ability, their offspring would be sensitive enough to register on our psi scales. This is the first I have heard of humans having such abilities.”

Amanda shrugged. “There’s always people claiming to be psychics or mediums running around. Usually we assume they are fake. Perhaps there’s a bit of a truth to some of them. Could her mother know Maria’s unusually gifted in this area? Maybe that’s causing some of the strain, particularly if her mother doesn’t want her developing it.”

“No.” T-Pae shook her head. “I do not believe Maria herself is aware. Sybok is young, and he would not understand how impossible it is for a non-telepath to learn as many of the Disciplines as she has. The logic based thinking is only a portion of it, and one that Maria has yet to delve into with any depth. Sybok has been expending most of his energies working with her on shielding and emotion control – likely due to her hyperactivity. If she was projecting, as many untrained minor telepaths will, she was likely causing him mental strain. What began as a way to protect himself has developed into…I believe the human word would be friendship? In Vulcan terms we call it t'hai'la. There is actually a low level mental bond forming between them, which is most likely why Sybok could feel her distress so acutely.”

“I moved their desks apart after the first day.” Amanda confided. “Sybok kept glancing at her and I could tell she was bothering him without even being obviously disruptive. After they started working together we moved it back at their request. I didn’t see a reason to keep them apart if Sybok was okay.”

“Wise.” T-Pae agreed. “Maria has taken to the Disciplines with great affinity and that affinity is now hampering efforts to help her. Without seeking permission of her guardian I cannot initiate a meld and without the meld I can learn no more from her. The best I can say is that I do not believe she is being abused, but rather that she fears a threat of some kind that has not yet manifested.”

Sarek sat down next to Amanda. “Would her father’s consent be enough to satisfy you ethically?” He asked. “We have been in correspondence since the children began their friendship. I find it highly probable that were we to voice our concerns he would give you permission.”

T-Pae considered it for a moment. “In light of the situation with her mother, yes I think it will be.” She then turned serious eyes to Sarek and lowered her voice. “ _There are other concerns, Sarek, that we need discuss without the human. I have grave reservations as to the strength of your son’s promise bond in light of the what has transpired with this girl.”_

Amanda stood up and picked up her bag. _The human speaks Vulcan._ Amanda informed her and couldn’t help smirking at the started expression that raised from the elderly Vulcan. _Sarek,_ she turned to the ambassador and shared a look of amusement with him. _Do you want me to wait in the hall? I’d like to discuss how to go about getting Maria’s father to consent before I leave.”_

“Of course.” He replied, keeping to Standard. “We will not be long.”

Amanda nodded and moved into the hall to wait.

* * *

T-Pae left the room and bowed slightly at Amanda. “I am sorry that I took for granted you would not know our language. I meant no disrespect.”

Amanda shrugged. “No offense is taken where none is given.” She said the formal words in Standard and T-Pae’s mouth gave a slight quirk. “Is everything all right with Sybok?”

T-Pae looked hesitant. “Yes, but I believe certain events have complicated his situation somewhat.” She did not explain further, instead motioning to the open door. “Sarek awaits you.” T-Pae left, her foot steps more hurried than usual and Amanda watched her go before she entered the room and gently closed the door.

She felt Sarek behind her before she heard him. “Thank you for coming, Amanda.” His hand came to rest heavily on her shoulder and her eyes shuddered closed. 

“Maria needs our help.”

“hmm.” Sarek agreed, the sound deep and resonating and Amanda gave a small involuntary shiver. “But we both know that it is not for a discussion about Maria that have you returned to me.” He ran his hand down her arm to grasp hers, turning her to face him. Amanda struggled to force herself to meet his eyes. “Amanda,” he looked at her and her breath caught at the expression in his eyes. “I believe there is a question you have wished to ask me for some time.”

She licked her lips and his eyes tracked the motion. “That night, in the restaurant – why did you really stop at my table?”

His dark eyes glittered in the light of the fire. Dusk had fallen while she’d been waiting in the hall and Sarek hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on. The only source of illumination was the flickering of the flames and the soft glow of the computer screen open on the table. “Why do you think?”

Amanda felt dizzy standing there and Sarek’s grip tightened on her hand, his other rising to steady her; his grasp warm on her forearm. “You must have sensed some of what I was feeling that night. Were you curious?” Her voice came out gravelly and she swallowed thickly.

“Enormously.” He acknowledged. “Such restrained passion, with no outward sign, and a male across from you, oblivious to the battle raging within.” He guided her towards the couch – their couch – and brought both her hands into his. “I will admit, at first, it was just curiosity. I knew so little of your people and I wondered if this was somehow normal – if your females all were this way and our anthropologists had somehow missed it. When I learned it was not, I have found myself consumed with the need to understand _you_. As I have interacted with you during these months I found that I…enjoy your company.”

“You are touching me.” Amanda said in a tiny voice. “What is it you want, Sarek? It can’t just be conversation.”

His head dipped slightly and Amanda saw a very slight green flush cross his face. The fuzzy awareness of him that she’d felt in the school hallway when he’d first taken her hand was back, and she shivered at the feeling. Sarek released one of her hands to bring his up to her cheek, the back of his finger brushing her slightly, affectionately. “I do enjoy our conversations, Amanda. But no, that is not what I am seeking. Nor, do I think, is it what you require.”

“Require?” Her voice squeaked and she tried to pull herself together. She could literally feel herself getting wet from his proximity and the soft brush of his hands and mind. She crossed her legs and shivered when his eyebrow raised at her. 

“Yes, _require_. You’ve been neglectful of yourself, Amanda.” He drew his finger down her face, over the side of her neck, and around her throat before letting it fall away. “A simple touch, and you are quivering.”

Amanda’s breath was getting heavy and she struggled to keep her voice even. “Aren’t you supposed to be supremely logical? Uninterested?”

“In control.” He corrected, his thumb moving gently over the back of the hand he still held. “A Vulcan is meant to control their emotions and to harness the body to the will of the mind. That does not mean we are celibate.” The corner of his mouth quirked ever so slightly. “Sybok had to come from somewhere, Amanda.”

“I’d assumed a laboratory.” She blinked slowly, trying to tame her racing heart. “I’m your son’s teacher.”

“Not at the moment.”

“He’s coming back when whatever the hell this is blows over.”

“Yes, and I will inform him that you and I have changed our relationship. I do not believe that will come as a shock. He saw me touch you, Amanda, and the child is not ignorant of that significance.”

“Sarek,” His name came out more of a moan than Amanda intended and she bit back another as his free hand retuned again to cup her cheek. She couldn’t help but lean into his touch. “What the hell do you want from me, Sarek?”

“I want you as naked and wanton as you desire to be.” He spoke softly, his voice like velvet as he leaned forward to whisper in her ear. “I want to see all the wild thoughts that fly through your mind take shape in reality.” His hand shifted to cup the back of her head and her mouth fell open as she fought to catch her breath. “I want to slide into you, Amanda- your mind, your body,” his lips ghosted over her lips. “Your soul.”

“Sarek,” Her voice cracked but she didn’t move away. He closed the insignificant distance between them to press a kiss so light it felt almost imaginary across her reddened lips. She did moan then, and her free hand went to pull him closer without her permission. Sarek gripped her head more firmly, his fingers tangling in her hair. He tugged at it harshly to change the angle of her head. The kiss deepened impossibly fast, and Amanda sobbed into it as the intensity of his actions overwhelmed her.

When he pulled back finally, both of their chests were heaving and Amanda stared at him in shock. She’d managed to wrinkle his robes terribly and somewhere in the heat of the kiss, she’d run her hands up into his hair and made him look thoroughly debouched. She could only assume she looked no better.

“I think,” He had to clear his throat to continue. “I think that if we mean to continue this, we should do so somewhere other than the conference room.”

“Yeah.” Was all she could say in response to that and she stood, shakily, and tried to understand why exactly she was allowing this to happen against all her better judgment. “Sarek,” she said softly, her hand falling away from him as she drew her arms around herself. “Is this just a one time thing – to get it out of your system?”

“Or do I plan to make a habit of it?” He asked gently. “I do not know.” He confessed when her eyes raised to meet his. “I do not know what I am doing, Amanda. I know that I desire you and that you return this desire. I feel the need in you, the clenching of your heart as I state my case and I can _smell_ your arousal. Does it matter? Do we need to know the answer to enjoy the moment?”

Amanda took several deep breaths. “I’m getting the idea that you people have some _serious_ erotic poetry hidden in your pre-reform libraries.”

“Would you like to hear some?” He asked, his voice dipping again to a gravelly level that shot straight to her core.

“God help me,” she muttered and launched herself at him.


	6. Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Total and utter sex break. Can skip this chapter if you aren't into that. No real plot movement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple notes to clarify -
> 
> I upped the rating to M. In my estimation this doesn't go quite far enough for explicit, but if you think it does let me know. I read/write so much of this stuff my threshold may be higher than normal. But I've seen worse on rated R movies so I'm going with M for now.
> 
> Second, I had a couple reviews/emails, mostly on ff.net, that objected to Amanda's internal expression of her sexuality. Now, I do write BDSM stuff, but I wasn't going for that here. I don't think the fact that she's craving hard sex makes that BDSM, and even if it did, so what? She's sexually frustrated, an adult, and if she wants to aggressively fuck someone that doesn't make her submissive, or twisted, or even out of character. She wasn't expressing the desire for a rape fantasy or bondage or anything more kinky than rough sex but if I had taken it there I still don't think it would have been that big of a deal. She was _thinking_ the thoughts, not even acting on them at the time, and I don't know anybody that isn't more free in their head than they are in action. 
> 
> Third, yes this has progressed fast. The story idea for this was pretty simple - Sarek notices Amanda's horny while in public and gets curious about the sexually aggressive female and does something about it. Because I like plot with my porn, we've now got the Maria subplot happening. Since we know so little about Vulcan culture, who's to say they aren't more sexually open than we typically give them credit for? It's not done normally, granted, but I'm having fun with the idea and so it seems are a lot of you. :) I hope you enjoy this more liberated version of Sarek. I'm certain Amanda is.

Sarek’s bedroom was at the top of the mansion and Amanda was eternally grateful that Vulcan culture valued privacy so highly. The handful of staff still moving through the building at this late hour didn’t ask what she was doing there, or why the ambassador seemed to be leading her into the private section of the mansion. Either Sarek had them well trained at ignoring his indiscretions, or they simply lacked the kind of curiosity that most humans would have shown in similar circumstances. While a few eyes followed them, no one made an effort to actually trail them through the house. Still, when Sarek reached the private hallway that held the quarters for he and his son, Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. He keyed in the code that would get them past the entry door and she slipped inside with a blush. It was one thing to sneak out in a walk of shame _after_ being guilty of the act; it was another to sneak _in_ knowing full well what you intended to do but hadn’t yet done. Although, Sarek didn’t seem at all concerned about the sneaking part….

His bedroom was painted a soft tan color and the ceilings sloped to match the roof line of the house. There was an enormous desk set into a windowed torrent, covered in datasheets and several PADDs Amanda recognized as the offline confidential variety that her grandfather had always used when he couldn’t risk the information on a computer system. She felt lightheaded as her gaze slide uneasily towards the bed.

“Amanda?” Sarek asked softly, coming up behind her. He laid a hand gently on her elbow to turn her around and she looked up at him, her breath catching in her throat. “Would you prefer that we extend the introductory phase of our association before commencing a physical union?”

She laughed, she couldn’t help it. “That is the _worst_ way to proposition a lady.” She leaned her head against his chest and tried to calm herself. “Do you know how long it’s been since I just…went home with someone? Actually, strike that. I’ve _never_ just gone home with someone before.” Amanda closed her eyes and breathed in his scent. She could smell a hint of laundry detergent on the robes, the same kind she used ironically, and underneath that an odd spicy note that she knew was Sarek – both alien and comforting at the same time. “I’m not given to casual romance.” She confessed softly.

Sarek’s hand rose to her head and gently ran over her hair soothingly. “I can feel your desire, Amanda. You _vibrate_ with it. But if you are uncomfortable here, I will see you safely home and we can revisit this issue when you have had time to get comfortable with the idea.” 

“No,” Amanda raised her head. “No, I don’t want to give myself time to think. If I do, I’ll come up with all the reasons this is a bad idea. Hell, I’ve never had sex with someone who wasn’t human. Do we even…work? Together. That way?”

Sarek’s dark eyes glittered with ill concealed amusement. “The majority of life forms that share the general physical appearance of humans and Vulcans have similar genital arrangements. While there are differences, I assure you, we will ‘work that way’.” She felt him flutter against her mind again and she gasped. “The largest difference is that when I take a female to my bed, it is not only her body that I penetrate.” He whispered huskily.

Amanda took a steadying breath. “You, mister, should need a license for that voice.”

Sarek raised an eyebrow. “If you find my voice stimulating, I repeat my offer.” He leaned closer still, his breath ghosting over her ear, and began a slow and careful recitation in Ancient Vulcan of what Amanda could only assume was a piece of the erotic poetry he’d so causally offered to recite to her downstairs. The language was similar enough to modern Vulcan she was able to pick out a few words and they sent a jolt of desire straight through her. She was already wet, and now she felt the dampness between her legs grow till she was afraid it would escape and run a trail down her leg.

Sarek’s hands were running over her dress, finding her curves and exploring every inch of her they could reach without removing the garment. Amanda tilted her head and his lips moved from her ear to her neck, planting a heated kiss there and barely interrupting his recitation. Amanda’s brain was starting to lose focus and she watched as if from a distance as her own hands rose to the clasp on his robes. 

The material was heavy and her fingers had to work on the clasp before it gave way. Sarek let her go just long enough for the garment to fall way before he clutched her closer. He wore a simple set of thermals underneath and it was then Amanda noticed exactly how warm the room was. Obviously they had spent the majority of their time and effort to heat the private chambers rather than the public areas of the embassy, and his bedchamber was sultry when compared to the lower levels. He made a contented sound as her hands splayed across his chest. He nipped none to gently at her neck, and his voice trailed off at what she suspected was the end of a particularly lurid passage.

“May I,” he pulled away to look her in the eye. “May I show you something, Amanda?”

“I thought you were planning on showing me everything?” She smirked and his eyes darkened even further. She was pressed tightly to him and she felt something stir against her stomach. 

“Oh I do.” He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed each finger tip, his hot tongue delicately tasting each one. “But there are a few things, Vulcan things, that I would like to share with you before I take you.” Amanda’s breath hitched and he let a very small smile grace his lips before he took her other hand and repeated the gesture.

“What kinds of things?” she asked, already knowing she’d agree to anything so long as it meant she’d get to feel this man on top of her.

He took her right hand in his and folded down her ring finger and pinky, leaving her other two fingers paired. He moved her hand so that it was raised in front and then brought his own paired fingers up to hers, the tips barely touching. “This has many meanings to my people.” He explained softly, his fingers running lightly up and over hers and down the back slowly. The sensation caused her to shiver and Sarek’s breath quickened. “When done in this way,” he brought his fingers back around and slid them up again so the tips were aligned. With his free hand he guided her wrist so that she copied his motion. “It is a prelude to intimate contact.” He explained. “When only the tips of the fingers touch, it is a silent symbol to all that the pair is one, and is done to show affection and belonging in public. But when the fingers caress,” He grasped her wrist harder and pressed their fingers together with more force. “When there is movement and intent, it is a gateway to a mating meld.”

His eyes were intense on hers and she felt the connection between them more strongly than ever before. “You said you wanted inside my mind?” she questioned hesitantly. “Will this let you in?”

“It opens the door.” Sarek acknowledged, “And as a door would, it goes both ways. I am strong enough that not only can I feel you, Amanda, but I can allow you to feel me.” His fingers were rough and hard as they slid down hers again and around. She didn’t need guidance when she copied him this time, and she felt him shiver in response. “Please,” he pleaded, his voice loosing the smooth sensualness of his recitation and taking on a harder tone. “Please, Amanda, will you let me touch you? _All_ of you?”

“Yes.” She whispered.

Sarek’s paired fingers twisted around hers, holding them tightly, and his other hand rose to her cheek, his fingers splayed to cover the side of her face. His eyes were bright with intensity and he backed them up until she hit the wall, his larger body trapping her there. His fingers moved, probing, for a moment before they found the spots they needed. “ _Nahp, hif-bi tu throks..._ ” he hissed and Amanda’s eyes widened.

She could _feel_ him, against her mind. What had been a slight fuzzy feeling, like a gentle breeze or the brush of velvet, was now like being plunged into a hot spring. Sarek’s mind swam through her, over her, inside her and Amanda gasped at the intensity of it. She could feel his desire, hot against her stomach, and burning in her mind, and she knew he could feel hers, damp against his leg where it pressed between hers. She wasn’t sure how long it lasted but when Sarek finally took his hand away from her cheek and gently let go of her paired fingers the connection eased but did not disappear.

“I knew you would be able to suffer it.” He murmured, his face dipping to her neck and his hands tugging her hips harder into him. “When I felt your stray thoughts that night, in the restaurant, I knew you would be able to withstand a Vulcan’s passion. We never thought a human could.” He bit her neck hard and Amanda’s knees gave out. He caught her weight and pressed her back up and into the wall, his hands shoving the dress from her body. 

Amanda tried to help him, but her own movements were clumsy, drunk on desire and the lingering feeling from the meld.

“Let me, please let me.” Sarek begged, kissing her harder as he fumbled with the unfamiliar clasp of her bra. “Let me have you, _ashayam. Let me take you into me and return you here._. His words were a jumble of Standard and Vulcan and Amanda struggled to translate them, her brain processing much slower than she was used to. Between the two of them they managed to shed the last of his clothing and push her panties down till she could kick them away.

Somehow they ended up finding the bed and she fell backward onto it. “Yes,” she gasped. _“ah, Sarek, mnu kup.”_

He entered her with a growl and Amanda arched against him, her hand clutching at his shoulders. Her eyes squeezed shut as the sensations from the meld intensified and she let herself go, bucking against each thrust and luxuriating in the feeling of his hands grasping at her. It was over too quickly and Sarek’s release yanked her over as well, the meld forcing her orgasm to lengthen and pulse in time with his. He collapsed onto her and she panted into his neck and held him tightly. She whimpered when he softened and she felt him slide out of her.

His hotter body curled around hers and Amanda fought to catch her breath. She could feel a pool of dampness under her from their frantic activities and the hotter than Earth air of the room was making it hard for her to breath. Sarek seemed to sense her distress and he moved reluctantly away. He murmured a quite command to the computer and she felt the heat tapper off a bit. Sarek snuggled back into her side, using his feet to catch a blanket to pull over himself leaving her bare to the still too warm air. He caught her hand and brought it to his face, nuzzling into it. “Stay.” He asked softly, his dark eyes intent on hers, his voice turning the words into a caress. “Please, Amanda, let me know you in my mind’s rest – let me walk with you in the night.”

“I can’t.” Amanda answered softly. “There are still two guards down there waiting to take me back to my apartment. And I have to teach in the morning. I can’t go in wearing the same clothes.” She curled against him despite the heat and ignoring the sweat that was covering her in a light sheen. “I wish I could.”

“Details.” Sarek insisted, his eyes blinking slowly, tiredly, at her. He reached a hand out from his nest of blankets to catch at the communicator on the bedside table. He flipped it open. “Sevan,” He spoke sharply in Vulcan, _“Send the guards for Lady Amanda away. She will not require them this evening.”_

 _“Yes, Ambassador.”_ The voice of Sarek’s personal assistant instantly replied. _“Shall I acquire suitable items for her morning needs?”_

 _“That would be most appreciated.”_ Sarek responded before he closed the communicator and placed it back on the stand. 

Amanda sat up and shifted away. “Sarek, did you just tell your secretary to find me clean clothes?” She blushed. “Does everyone know that we just… How often do you do this?”

Sarek turned over to lay on his back and stretched. “Not nearly often enough.” He turned dark eyes to her and his expression softened. “Amanda, I assure you that Sevan does not care if you spend the evening in my bed. He may in fact thank you for it. I expect that despite my meditations my control has not been as firm as I would have liked these past few months. I often find myself distracted from my duties by thoughts of you – memories of what your mind felt like on the brief occasions I dared to touch you. I suspect he has known that we would end like this for some time. Chances are he already acquired suitable clothing for you weeks ago.”

He reached out for her and tugged her back down. “As to your concern for how many I take to my bed, I assure you the number is rather small. Since my wife’s death I have sought release where I could find it, but you are the first that I have melded with so completely. There is irony in that, seeing as you are the first human.” His hand caressed her bare hip and Amanda’s eyes slide shut. “Fascinating,” Sarek breathed, “You are aroused again –so soon.”

“Women have a short refractory period.” Amanda responded, her voice shaky even to her own ears. “If any.” She added as his hand slipped between her legs. She parted them willingly and sighed as Sarek’s hand moved, his fingers slipping inside, seeking. Awareness of him flared again in her mind and she relaxed into it, allowing Sarek to take his cue from the way her breath hitched and her mind purred. 

“We may need to make our excuses for tomorrow.” Sarek responded, his own voice thick. “I may not be able to let you out of here until I have discovered exactly how much you can take.”

Amanda opened one eye lazily. “Are you offering to wear me out?”

Sarek’s fingers curled sharply and pressed and Amanda’s voice choked off in a strangled cry of pleasure. Her back arched and she felt Sarek’s free hand move to clench around her fingers. “Yes,” he sighed into her neck before he bit down sharply. “I am.”

* * *

Nahp, hif-bi tu throks. = give me your thoughts

ah, Sarek, mnu kup. = totally not grammatically correct, but was aiming for “Yes, Sarek, gain mastery of me.” Not meant in a D/S way, more of a Vulcan version of ‘take me already’.


	7. Turning Points

Amanda did return to work the next morning, an escort of Vulcan embassy guards delivering her safely to her classroom. The soft fabric of the dress Sarek’s aide had left outside the bedroom made her blush every time her fingers touched it. But while the fabric was Vulcan, the cut and style was universal enough that without close inspection it could easily be mistaken for one of the more stylish Earth designs that high society had started sporting since the Federation had widened trade lines. Amanda had never been given to fashion, but it was no secret who her family was, and if the other teachers thought her appearance odd, they made no mention of it. The Vulcan guards hadn’t commented either, and Amanda did her best to pretend that she hadn’t just spent the night in unrepentant debauchery with their ambassador.

She was tired, and distracted, but the ghost of Sarek’s presence in her mind seemed to both anchor and arouse her. The lessons for the day were luckily subjects she knew well, and she’d prepared everything in advance. If the students noticed her distraction they made no mention of it. Maria was absent, her mother having called her in sick, and Amanda sent a short message to Sarek that they’d have to delay their plan another day. Maria’s father had agreed to Sarek’s request that morning, and as soon as the girl returned to class Amanda was prepared to deliver her to the embassy. It would likely mean her job, but Amanda couldn’t let whatever was happening continue unchecked.

She should have been surprised that Sarek himself came to collect her, but somehow it felt…right. At exactly 4pm his quiet stoic face appeared outside her door and she smiled at him, shuffling her papers around and placing the night’s grading in her satchel before standing up and grabbing her purse. Sarek opened the door for her and held up two fingers in greeting. The two guards behind him said nothing, but the younger one raised an eyebrow. Amanda placed her fingers lightly on Sarek’s and tried to calm her racing heart.

“I would like to have dinner with you, Amanda, if you are agreeable?” Sarek asked softly, moving to tuck her arm into his in a more human gesture. Amanda moved closer to his side in response. She could feel the eyes of her boss on her as they walked slowly down the hall and she knew Sarek was being obvious purposefully, staking a claim as it were, and she couldn’t help a wicked smile at that knowledge. 

“I do have some grading I need to finish. And if we intend a repeat of last night, I’d like to plan a little ahead, grab a few things.” She smoothed a hand down the side of her dress and heard Headmaster Roberts suck in a breath as realization must have dawned. 

Sarek’s eyes twinkled in response. “Then we will make a brief stop at your apartments before returning to the embassy. I have several matters I too must attend prior to the evening meal. If you do not mind sharing a workspace, my office does have considerable space.”

“I’d be delighted.” Amanda replied and closed her eyes as she felt a flare of Sarek’s satisfaction wash over her. “More than delighted.” She whispered.

When they were safely in his aircar, Sarek pulled her securely against him, his fingers interlacing with hers tightly. He leaned down and kissed her. Amanda melted into him willingly, and when they finally pulled apart for air she rested her head on his chest. 

“I was concerned for you.” Sarek’s deep voice rumbled beneath her ear. “Reports indicated that whatever action the terrorists are planning it will happen soon.” Sarek’s free hand smoothed down her hair, his fingers searching out and loosening the pins until it fell free. “We do not yet know their target but it appears it will likely involve children. They wish to make a statement.”

“I’d guessed.” Amanda clutched him tighter. “All that extra security, the way all the Federation parents were acting – it had to be something like that. Does the headmaster know?”

“He was informed.” Sarek rested his chin on her head and sighed, the breath moving her hair. “I cannot convince you to take a leave of absence?”

Amanda pulled away and looked at him. Sarek’s eyes were heavy with worry and she could feel his concern through their joined hands. “Sarek, there are a hundred different schools in this area with high profile students. The chances the terrorists will attack mine are minimal. We aren’t the largest or the most controversial. We have only a small number of non-human children enrolled, and the faculty is all human. If they want to make a statement about Earth and the Federation they’d make more of an impression if they went after one of the larger Federation backed institutions. The Academy is small and private. We tried to keep it that way on purpose to avoid just this sort of thing.”

“What you say is logical.” He conceded, “Yet I find myself unduly concerned over your welfare regardless.” Sarek frowned and cupped her cheek. “I am finding myself rather attached to you, Amanda. The thought of losing you to such violence is distressing.”

“Right now my biggest problem is Maria. I’m worried her mother suspects something. She wasn’t in class today and she didn’t look sick yesterday.”

The aircar pulled up to her door and Sarek squeezed her hand gently before pulling away. “We shall do what we can for the child, that is certain. But tonight there is nothing we can implement that we have not already put into place. You will deliver her to the healer at the embassy when she returns to classes and her father has consented to the examination.” He stepped out of the car and held a hand out to help her to the pavement. “Tonight, Amanda, I have other matters to discuss with you.”

Amanda pulled her apartment key out of her purse and led Sarek up the short flight of steps. She glared at Mrs. Heaverty who peaked through the crack of her door and the old lady huffed and withdrew. “Why don’t you come in for a few minutes, Sarek, while I pack a bag.” Amanda opened the door and pulled Sarek inside quickly before slamming it shut. The two guards would wait outside patiently – she knew that from previous experience. Sarek raised an eyebrow as she pinned him against the wood, her hands already winding into his robes. “Packing may take a while.” She warned.

“Indeed.” Sarek replied, his hand drifting to the points on her face that made the connection between them blossom. “We may have to delay dinner.”

“My dinner is right here.” Amanda smirked and Sarek’s eyes darkened.

* * *

Things continued like that for a week. Amanda’s belongings little by little filtered into Sarek’s rooms until she was fairly certain that any normal human would say she was living with him. But they hadn’t had that conversation, in fact had danced around it fairly neatly, and Amanda wasn’t sure what to think. Even though she’d spent every night in his company, Sarek was a hard man to know. When they touched, the way his emotions would filter to her was uncanny. And when he melded with her, Amanda couldn’t even begin to describe the sensation. But as soon as they parted, it would lessen – float to the background – and she would have to guess at what was happening behind his dark eyes. She could always feel him now, as if the connection he forged with her during the night was slowly and carefully building a bridge between them. But this too he avoided discussing.

The other Vulcans in the embassy had seemed unconcerned by her continued presence. Even the guard that now followed her constantly made no comment. A few gave her curious, almost withering, looks, but the only one to comment was the elderly healer that still waited to see Maria. 

T-Pae pulled her aside that following Friday and lead her to a quiet room that looked out on the back gardens. The sunlight filtered in through the glass ceiling and T-Pae seemed to drink it in the way the plants did. She’d set up a small medication corner behind a screen of palms and she pulled Amanda down to sit with her on the pile of cushions. 

“Things between you and Sarek are beginning to progress beyond a point of mere mutual sexual satisfaction. “ T-Pae stated calmly. “Yet, I sense that neither of you has made the conscious choice to follow this path.” Her dark eyes were bright and she took Amanda’s hands in her wrinkled ones. “You do not know what you may soon face, child. He has not told you and it is not my place. But for my peace of mind I must ask – do you intend to remain with Sarek when this matter is over? When Maria is dealt with, and the terrorists have been captured or their plot has unfolded, will you stay with him?”

“He hasn’t asked me.” Amanda replied softly, knowing that whatever it was that concerned the healer it was grave. 

“Nor will he.” T-Pae admitted, dropping her hands and looking away. “Sarek was a lonely child and he is a far lonelier adult. You are not the first he has consorted with since his wife’s passing. Often that is the case when a male survives the death of the female. The marriage bond is sacred to us, and often one does not survive the death of the other. When it happens, and the male is strong enough to weather it, it is as if a part of them has gone with their spouse to the grave. Sarek requires the solace of walking in another’s mind to forget his own torments. He is using you.”

“We are using each other.” Amanda admitted softly. “I’ve enough experience to recognize that. I have no illusions about this being permanent. He can’t seriously desire anything long term with me.”

“He may not have a choice if this continues much longer.” T-Pae lowered her head. “I could feel it growing between you even from a distance. Just now, when I took your hands, I could sense the bond between you like a thread of steel. Every night you spend in his bed it hardens, sharpens. Soon it will snap into place between you and not even I will be able to undue it. Sarek knows this is happening but he refuses to acknowledge it. I have tried discussing it with him, but he turns me aside.” T-Pae looked up at Amanda and let some of her concern show in her eyes. “Amanda, he is only a male. He is alone and he has found one that his katra finds compatible. The temptation is too great for him alone to resist. If you intend to set him aside I beg of you to do it now. Take your things and leave us – go far away where his duties will not permit him to follow.”

“If I stay?” Amanda asked, her throat tight.

“Then prepare yourself to be bound to him.” T-Pae stated firmly. “He will deny that he intends to keep you, he will say I am paranoid. But I am several centuries his senior and I have seen this many times. A widower such as Sarek is driven to the beds of any female he can find, lust and loneness causing their logic to fold in search of solace. And when they find one that can distract them from the hole in their soul they do not let them go again. He cannot bare the thought of bonding with you, knowing he will outlive you. But he cannot let you go. Are you prepared to follow him – a consort but never a wife?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Of course you do not.” T-Pae sighed. “Amanda, despite our appearances Vulcans are at their core an ancient people. A strong warrior could often have any he wished, and Sarek is the modern equivalent of our ancient warriors. No one expected him to restrain his sexual impulses after his wife’s death and many of our females have gladly given themselves to him in hopes of just this occurrence. His family is powerful and Sarek is a good match even if he would refuse the title of wife to another. A consort is a respected position and his clan would honor such a female as his chosen companion. It would mean a life of privilege and power. But you have no need of his money or his status. You yourself hail from a family of means and have no small amount of public status should you choose to claim it. I do not know what possible gain you could have from allowing a bond to form between you that would bind you together thus but never allow you the protections of being wife.”

“Maybe I’m lonely too.” Amanda whispered.

T-Pae raised an eyebrow. “If you continue to bed him, Amanda, the bond will grow. You will not have a choice but to remain with him should it mature. It cannot be undone. He will suffer no rival in your affections, but without the title of wife and without his formalization of your arrangement, he can and perhaps will take another and another and another. Vulcan society does not place restrictions on the male. We expect males to require sexual release in a way that we do not as females. His promiscuity would be over looked. Yours would not.”

“I’m familiar with a double standard.” Amanda pinched her nose, a headache forming between her eyes. “Are you telling me that I’m on the road to becoming his…his concubine or something?”

“Mistress, whore, tart…”T-Pae spoke the words coldly. “Your people have many words for this. We do not. We have no moral concerns regarding sexual relations, not as humans do. But we do have concern for status of offspring and the insurance of inheritance lines. Males may take many lovers, but inheritance must remain secure. Males are fertile only once every seven years without consciously inducing the production of sperm. We have no concern that they may spread their seed where it does not belong. Females, on the other hand, are fertile near constantly. Therefore we bare the burden of restraint. If you are unmarried many will still seek a clan alliance through marriage and even should Sarek find you enough, T-Pau will not. His matriarch will seek to marry him well and while she could not undue a consort bond between you, she could and will separate you for the good of the clan. You could find yourself bound to Sarek yet still alone – forever and unendingly alone.”

* * *

If Sarek sensed her unease over the weekend he made no comment on it. Yet, he seemed to cling tighter to her as if he sensed that she was about to end their affair. Maria had not yet returned to classes, but Amanda suspected she would be there on Monday. More than a week’s absence would require a doctors note and Maria’s mother was involved in a nasty custody dispute with the girl’s father already. She would do nothing to aggravate that situation. So, by Monday evening, Sarek would have no more viable excuse to himself for having Amanda near. And Amanda would have no more excuse for time alone with him.

He walked her into the building Monday morning, his hand lingering on hers and his eyes bright. “I will wait for you at the embassy. A second aircar will be here waiting for your order. You may bring her any time.”

“Sarek,” Amanda hesitated before saying the hell with it. She reached up to cup his face gently before pulling him down for a short chaste kiss. “I’m only going away if you wish it.” She whispered against his lips and she felt him relax against her.

A throat clearing made them part and Amanda sighed as she caught sight of her boss coming towards them. Headmaster Roberts glared at them and Amanda reluctantly pulled away. “See you later?” She asked softly.

Sarek squeezed her hand once before letting go. “Yes. Have a good day, _ashayam_. I will await your return.”

Roberts followed her all the way to her classroom and pulled her into the alcove across the way before she could enter. “What do you think you’re doing?” he hissed.

“Oh come off it, Jacob.” Amanda glared and put her hands on her hips. “The kids aren’t going to arrive for another half hour and I’ve seen you do far worse than a quick kiss goodbye to your wife in the parking lot.”

His face heated at that but he held his ground. “The difference is I’m married to Rebecca and not her son’s teacher!”

“Sybok isn’t currently taking classes.” Amanda insisted. “And if he does return once this _thing_ blows over, we can assign him to a different room. Although, based on what Sarek’s said he doesn’t have an issue with him remaining in my class. Vulcan’s don’t have the same kind of concerns we do, Jacob. Everything is fine.”

“I don’t like it.” Roberts ran a hand through his hair and sighed in defeat. “Amanda, I don’t like any of this. Sarek enrolling Sybok out of the blue like he did – then you taking up with him. This thing with the terrorists and whatever the hell it is you have going on with that Maria girl – there’s too much happening and I don’t have a good feeling about any of it. Just, be careful? You’re a good teacher and I’d really hate to have to fire you.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Amanda shook her head. “Now, I need to get into that room and get settled before the little hellions arrive. Unless you do intend to fire me?”

“Not today.” Roberts backed out of the alcove and rubbed tiredly at his face. “Just, keep it off school grounds, okay?”

“Deal.” Amanda agreed.

* * *

Maria did indeed arrive but the girl was pale and shaking. Amanda tried to get her to talk but Maria wouldn’t meet her eye. She slipped silently into her desk and studiously avoided everyone’s eyes. The other children tried to engage with her, worried she was still ill, but Maria wouldn’t say a word and Amanda knew something was horribly wrong.

She checked the parking lot through the bathroom window and there was indeed an unmarked aircar she recognized from the embassy parked near the back door. If she could find a way to get Maria to follow her, they could duck out at lunch. Amanda could get Emily from across the hall to watch the class for a while and maybe, if they were quick, she could have Maria there and back before the end of the day. Roberts would still fire her, but she might not have to worry about criminal charges… She went back to her classroom and tried to go on as if nothing was amiss. 

Amanda was just getting ready to dismiss the class for lunch when the lights in the room cut out abruptly. “It’s all right, just a power failure.” Amanda stated calmly as she opened the blinds to let in as much sunlight as possible. When she turned back to face the class Maria was out of her seat, a small plastic box in her hands.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Grayson. I’m so so sorry.” The little girl whispered, tears running down her face. She pressed a small button on the side and the world exploded.


	8. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should give you fair warning that the next chapter or two will deal with a mass fatality terrorist attack. I am not intending to get overly graphic, but it will remain in Amanda's POV as she lives it. Please, if you would find this traumatic, skip this chapter in particular.

Amanda hurt and it took her several long moments to realize what had happened. She could hear a loud ringing and feel a heavy weight on her, something sticky and wet pooling under her. The air was heavy and dusty, the smell of copper and smoke stinging her nose. She tried to move but whatever it was on top of her was too heavy and it pinned her in place. She tried to cry out, but if she made a sound she couldn’t hear it. The ringing was too loud. Amanda opened her eyes and tried to focus, but the world was spinning and all she could see was red.

“ _Sarek_ she called in her mind as she could feel herself slipping back into unconsciousness. “ _Sarek, please…_ ”

The next time she regained consciousness the weight was still above her, but this time she was aware enough to realize that the sticky wetness was her own blood. Amanda tried to steady her breathing and slowly the ringing cleared enough she could make out the sounds of people and dogs. “Help,” she murmured, her throat dry and unable to do more than croak. She could see Zack’s red shirt from where she lay and he wasn’t moving. The ceiling of the room had collapsed down on them and Amanda couldn’t tell if that was what was keeping her pinned or if some other piece of debris had landed on her. 

“Over here!” a voice yelled and Amanda watched through a tiny gap in the cement as they pried a part of the wall off an overturned desk. It was another of her students, their small body too limp as the rescue worker lifted it and Amanda sobbed.

“I tell you she is alive!” Sarek’s voice rose above the other sounds and Amanda’s breath hitched in relief. “I do not care for your excuses. You will either aid me in locating her, or you will get out of my way.”

“Sir,” a human voice responded, “This is an active crime scene. We can’t let you in and risk you contaminating the evidence.”

“Amanda is not _evidence_.” Sarek’s tone was dark and Amanda tried again to call out. “Amanda?” He called louder. “I can sense her.” He informed the human and Amanda could feel his frantic emotions as he fought his way to her through the rubble.

There was a loud sound as the weight lifted off her and she cried out in pain as what she finally realized was her desk was tossed aside. Sarek’s hand came out of the too bright light and Amanda reached feebly towards it. 

“Still, ashayam.” He admonished her, his dark eyes traveling over her form. She knew it was bad when he gripped her hand tighter before letting it go to grab her scarf. She hissed in pain as he pressed it against the wound in her side. “You are bleeding heavily.” He explained softly, the sounds of the other rescuers barking orders falling into the background as she gazed up at him. She could feel him working his way deeper into her mind, easing the pain, and she let him. “Rest, ashayam. I will be here.” He promised. Amanda reached up again, her hand resting on his cheek. She watched it slide limply from him as her strength started to give out and couldn’t help but notice how pretty the red looked against his slightly green skin.

* * *

The was a hint of antiseptic in the air and Amanda could hear the whir and buzz of machines when she came too again. Sarek was in a chair next to the bed and his warm hand held hers tightly. 

A glass of water was pressed to her parched lips and she drank it slowly. Sarek lowered the glass and set it down only to press his hand to her forehead. “Stay still ashayam. “ He advised softly. “They have done what they can for your ribs but you require another surgery and they cannot preform it until you regain enough strength. You must not move or you may repuncture your lung. The fact that you survived the explosion is surprising. We must not do anything to jeopardize you now.”

“What…?” She tired to ask but her throat was too weak.

Sarek’s eyes closed in pain. “The terrorists did not strike one school, Amanda. They struck them all.” He opened his eyes and brushed the hair back gently from her forehead. “It would appear that they sent small explosive devices into all the mixed species schools that catered to Federation diplomats and their children. The Academy was only one of twelve struck. Your classroom was the main target at your school, we believe because of the large number of non-human children. But it was not the largest casualty scene.”

“Are they alright?” Amanda clutched at Sarek’s arm. “Please, are my kids alright?”

Sarek’s eyes darkened. “Amanda…”

“No!” She could feel the tears forming and she struggled to try and sit up. “Sarek, they can’t…”

“I am so sorry, Amanda.” Sarek’s hand gripped hers tightly. “The explosion was centered in the middle of the room. You only survived the blast because you were on the other side of your desk. The shock wave threw you into the wall and the desk landed on top of you. It kept the majority of the shrapnel and the ceiling from hitting you.”

“How…” she closed her eyes and tried to breath. “All of my students?”

“Yes.” She could feel Sarek trying to wrap her mind in comfort but she shoved him away and he went. His voice was weak when he went on to explain. “The blast was localized but strong. It demolished your classroom and took out the one above and to the left. Several of the students from the other rooms were also killed as was Mr. Roberts and Ms. Parkins. In total, thirty-seven from the Academy were killed and 198 between the twelve schools. We may loose more to their injuries in the next few hours.”

“Maria…” Amanda sobbed. “Maria set off the bomb.”

Sarek’s hand tightened. “Are you sure?”

“The lights went out. I went to the window, to open the blinds, and when I turned around she had this black box… she said she was sorry.”

“Can you give us any other details, ma’am?” A hard voice came from the other side of the bed and Amanda realized that they weren’t alone. 

She tried to turn her head to see the man but the movement proved too painful. Sarek calmed her with another wave of comfort through their joined hands and this time she let him. “Sarek?” she asked softly.

“I am controlling what I can of your pain, ashayam.” He replied gently. “These men wished to question you and I knew you would desire to give them what information you could. The doctors plan to sedate you once they are done. If I remove my assistance you would find the pain untenable.” He smoothed the hair back from her face again and Amanda tried to stop her tears. “It is alright.” Sarek pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek, his lips picking her tears up. Amanda spared a thought to wonder if it was a Vulcan ritual. “Do not hide your tears, ashayam. The cause is sufficient.”

“We need to know what happened in that room.” The hard voice demanded and Amanda whimpered. 

Sarek smoothed her hair again and kissed her other cheek, her tears disappearing with the gentle caress of his lips. “She has told you all she knows, officer. I can provide the information on Maria that you require.” Sarek replied. “Amanda,” he gazed into her eyes deeply and Amanda blinked up at him. “I am going to place you into a trance, ashayam.” He explained softly. “Your doctors will be able to heal you more readily if you are not conscious of their work. I can do so without the use of the drugs and it will make it easier for you when you awaken. Do you trust me?”

“Always.” Amanda whispered and sank into his eyes.


	9. Icons of Glory

The next few days were a blur. Amanda would wake to find another gruff voice asking her questions, or another doctor explaining another procedure – none of which she could follow. Sarek was always there, never leaving her side. At some point her mother arrived, and she thought she heard Sybok, but whether it was the effect of the drugs, or Sarek dampening her pain, or just her own shock, Amanda was barely aware enough to comprehend what had happened let alone deal with it. Voices came and went, rooms changed, but she seemed to float through it like a feather knocked about in the ocean. The bombing happened on a Monday. It wasn’t until the following Wednesday, nine days later, that she awoke with enough presence of mind to ask how long it had been.

Her mother looked a fright, Sarek not much better. It was clear that the two had been fighting over which one could stay in the narrow visitors chair that pulled out into a make shift cot. Apparently her mother had won that argument, but the mismatched straight backed chair from the cafeteria that Sarek was perched on made it clear that while he may not have won the cot, he never the less had prevailed in his endeavor to remain by her side. His hand was still clutching hers tightly and Amanda wondered if he’d let go at all.

“Honey?” Her mother asked quietly, leaning over her and Amanda tried to smile. “Mandy, it’s your mama.” 

“Mom?” Amanda croaked out, lifting her free hand weakly to take her mother’s. “How long have I been out of it?”

“Almost 10 days.” Her mother supplied, pressing the call button to alert the nurse. “You’ve been in and out of consciousness. I’m not shocked you don’t remember.”

“Some.” Amanda corrected quietly and turned her head to look at Sarek. “All of them?”

“Yes.” He answered and Amanda could see her mother frowning at him from her peripheral vision. “They are releasing the remains tomorrow. Funeral services will start shortly after.”

“I have to go.” Amanda insisted quietly. She tuned out her mother’s protests and instead focused her eyes on Sarek’s. “You have to make sure they let me.”

“I understand.” He bowed his head and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I will make sure you attend – it is your right.”

“Now see here you…you overgrown elf!” Her mother protested loudly. “My daughter is going nowhere! She’s barely alive, Sarek. You aren’t taking her out of this hospital bed for something as pointless as a funeral.”

“Mom,” Amanda tried to sit up and Sarek quickly moved to assist her. The nurse had arrived and was smirking at her from the foot of the bed as she double-checked the read outs on the machines. Apparently the fighting was not a new phenomena. “This really isn’t up to you.” Amanda insisted softly. “They are my kids, mom. I have to … I have to do this for them.” Amanda choked and tried to fight her tears to get the words out. “I wasn’t fast enough to help Maria. This is all my fault. I have to be there…”

“It is not your fault.” Sarek insisted, turning her chin so she looked at him. “Maria was only one of the victims, Amanda. Her mother was in league with the terrorists. They forced her to carry the bomb, but she was not the only child. There were seven other children who delivered bombs to the other schools, teachers and a janitor as well. Maria’s mother did not know the plan when she consented to allow her daughter’s participation. When she learned what had transpired she turned on her co-conspirators. Maria did not know what she carried, Amanda. She knew it would do something terrible, but she had no idea it would cost her life. We had no way to stop this from happening.”

“We knew she was in trouble.” Amanda insisted softly. “We knew, Sarek! And we didn’t stop it. We weren’t fast enough.”

“There was nothing more you could have done.” A gruff voice from the doorway responded and Amanda looked up to see a man in Federation uniform standing there. “Lt. Jackson, Special Investigator.” He informed her before walking further into the room. He nodded at the nurse who quickly left. “I’ve been questioning you when you were conscious enough to answer. And Sarek has been providing information from you when it was absolutely necessary. He claimed you were familiar with his telepathic abilities and would not consider it a violation. I hope this is correct.” Lt. Jackson shared a look with her mother.

“Yes, yes it is.” Amanda agreed and gripped Sarek’s hand tightly. “Sarek is welcome to my thoughts whenever he has need or desire for them.” Sarek squeezed her back in thanks. “Lt. Jackson…”

“Ms. Grayson, please believe me.” Lt. Jackson stated kindly but firmly. “You did everything you could to report the child’s behavior. Even had you been able to carry out your illegal plan to question her it is doubtful the Vulcan healer could have learned enough to have stopped the plot. The terrorist leaders never informed the parents or the children of what exactly they would be doing. Maria had no idea she was even involved in something till that morning. Her mother confessed to having allowed the men to live in her home, and Maria had been distressed by their presence, but neither knew the actual plot. There was literally nothing more you could have done.”

“I knew the target was likely to be children.” Sarek confessed softly. “Our intelligence operatives had been able to learn that much. But even I did not suspect there was a connection.”

“What did they hope to gain by this?” Amanda whispered.

Lt. Jackson sighed. “The leaders aren’t talking, but based on what Maria’s mother has been able to tell us, and from the handful of the lower level operatives we’ve picked up, we believe they thought that by attacking the children of the main Federation leadership they could destabilize the alliance. Ms. Grayson, this was not a human only plot as we’d assumed. Factions from several different alien groups were working with the human extremists all towards a mutual goal of breaking the Federation apart. This conspiracy goes beyond anything we’ve seen before.”

“Oh honey,” Her mother sat down at her side and tucked a piece of hair back behind Amanda’s ear. “It could have been much worse. Lt. Jackson told me that because of you and Sarek they had to move the timetable up. They’d planned to hit more schools as well as the Federation hospital and shipyard. Because of you two they had to act faster than they wanted. It could have been much much worse.”

“All my kids…” Amanda shivered and the machine over her bed bleeped alarming. “But all my kids…”

The nurse came back in. “I need to ask all of you to leave. You’re causing her undo stress. We need to keep her calm.”

Lt. Jackson and her mother stepped back, reluctantly, but Sarek remained where he was. The nurse frowned at him but he didn’t move. 

Amanda turned to look at him, clutching at his arm. “Sarek?”

“I will be right here, ashayam. They cannot remove me.” Sarek promised softly. “Listen to my voice.” He spoke quietly and Amanda concentrated on his words. He switched to the gentler tones of his native tongue and the Amanda recognized the words of one of the long epics he’d read to her, about time of Surak and the long desert exile. She let the words slowly drift her back to sleep.

* * *

Amanda was too weak to walk unaided but she was determined to attend the funeral ceremony. In a frankly astounding show of solidarity, the families of the victims had all unanimously agreed to hold a single joint public service before they would take the bodies of their children home to be buried. With the mix of human and alien cultures, it was a logistical nightmare to work out a common ceremony that wouldn’t be offensive to one or the other and Amanda suspected that Sarek was behind it – accomplished during the many hours she slept between rounds of treatment and physical therapy. 

She was lucky. The desk had protected her from the worst of the blast and as soon as her ribs healed and the fracture to her vertebra knit she’d be nearly as good as new – with the exception of the plethora of screws, plates, and rods that now held most of her together. The list of broken pieces of Amanda grew every time she looked at it and finally she just told the doctors to handle it. She didn’t want to know anymore. Apparently her hands and her nose were about the only bones she hadn’t broken. There was even a small fracture to her jaw, which explained why it was so painful to talk at first.

Sarek wanted her stay in a wheel chair the entire time, but Amanda was determined that no matter the pain she would walk into the ceremony. With the aide of a walker she was barely stable enough to manage to make it to her seat and she gritted her teeth and pushed through the pain to make it to the chair that had been reserved for her in the front row. Those that had survived the blasts and were able to leave the hospital had their own places of honor and Amanda nodded at them in solidarity. They didn’t know each other’s names, they didn’t have to. Amanda saw the same look of determination on each of the their faces that she’d seen in the mirror that morning. They would not let the bastards win.

Sybok and Sarek stood behind her and Amanda could still feel the boy’s anger hot against the back of her neck. He hadn’t spoken a single word to her since she’d finally regained awareness, but she knew him well enough to see it in his eyes. Sybok blamed her, and Sarek, for the death of Maria and Amanda suspected with a sinking heart he always would. T-Pae had quietly informed her that Sybok had felt the instant Maria had died and had collapsed in shock even as far away as Vulcan. They had rushed the boy to his father on Earth, but Sarek had refused to leave Amanda’s side. Sybok had spent two days with them in her hospital room before he’d retreated to the embassy and withdrawn from everyone. It broke Amanda’s heart and she’d tried everything she could think of to get him to open back up to her. But Sybok was not ready to listen.

It didn’t help that Sarek appeared to have chosen her over his own son. T-Pae claimed this was normal for a Vulcan male –that mating bonds were stronger than parental ones. She seemed confused by Amanda’s anger over it. Sarek hadn’t commented, but then he could read her mind. There really was nothing more that either of them could say about it. Sarek would not leave her and Sybok would not forgive him that. And no protest from Amanda would change either fact. It was one of the first truly ‘alien’ things she’d encountered about her lover and despite all they’d shared through the melds, she could admit that it scared her. She wasn’t sure she wanted the responsibility of being so important to him that he’d sacrifice his relationship with his only son just to watch her sleep. She felt guilty just thinking about it and she’d been unconscious at the time.

Amanda shivered as a stiff breeze blew across her. The field in front of her was filled with row after row of coffins and a handful of urns. The colors and sizes varied by species, flags of each world whipping in the wind over the collection of victims. The number of Earth flags was the greatest, but Amanda could see at least a dozen worlds represented. Hardly a species had been spared, and Amanda felt a pang of guilt for the lone Vulcan flag. It was because of her and Sybok that one of the embassy guards had enrolled her daughter in the Academy. T-Fey had been one of the children from the classroom over hers that had died. 

Whatever the terrorists had hopped to accomplish with their terrible actions, the effect was quite the opposite. Rather than attacking one another, the Federation planets had rallied around the common cause of finding and eradicating the terrorist cell responsible. The wheels of justice were swift when so many were angry and one by one each element of the organizations responsible was being rooted out. Humans had started the plan, but radicles on seven different planets had joined with them – that they knew about. How far the conspiracy went was still unknown. What Amanda did know was that the Federation would not rest until it was exterminated.

There was no sermon. No words of comfort or grief offered. The service was a silent gathering – a vigil of mourners and victims that would last from dust till dawn. The symbolism, darkness giving way to light, was important to all the cultures represented and the one thing they could all agree on. So Amanda held her place, Sarek and Sybok behind her, through the long darkness of night despite the wind and the chill. It was the last duty she could preform for her children and she carried it out despite the pain she was still in. 

When dawn arrived the assembly silently broke apart and Amanda found herself too weak to stand again despite her determination. Rather than comment, Sarek picked her up gently and she rested her head on his shoulder as he carried her back to the aircar. A camera flashed at just the perfection moment and it would be that image that most would remember in years to come - the tear streaked face of a miraculous human survivor from the San Francisco Academy, being carried in the arms of the proud and grieving Vulcan ambassador, the black draped coffins going on as far as the camera could see behind them, and the flag of the Federation unfurled perfectly over them, surrounded by a sea of mourners of every species. It was the image of the Federation, grieving but not defeated, solid in their defense of one another and moving forward in the same direction. A single moment in time that would define them all for years to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I did justice to the imagine I saw as I wrote this. Unfortunately what talent I have for a pen is restricted to words rather than art so I cannot give you the graphic to go along with this. 
> 
> I'd like to note that this chapter was inspired by imagines of the defiant survivors from Boston specifically, but also the archival footage of the Bath School disaster, and the way communities all over the world have responded to such horror by drawing together in solidarity rather than folding to the will of such evil men (and women). It is at moments of great pain and suffering that the true nature of a people is revealed. I do not mean to trivialize these real events with a work of fiction. Star Trek is about, and has always been about, we as the human race learning to work as one people to face a bold and promising future. And it is in such horrific moments as we have seen all too often of late that I believe there is still hope for humanity. It is not the actions of the terrorists that define us, but the actions of the men and women that bear witness to it, that survive it, and that overcome it.


	10. Offerings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I've been very very sick with a bad cold for the last two weeks. I spent so much time concentrating on breathing that I didn't have enough left to write.

“Mandy, I just think you should take things a little slower.” Her mother pleaded for the fourth time in an hour and Amanda sighed.

“Mom, it’s going the pace it’s got to go, alright? Besides it’s not really up to me.”

“And why the hell is that? It’s your life. You should set the pace however you see fit.” Her mother huffed, hands on hips as she glared about the nondescript room of the rehabilitation center where Amanda had been moved to work on her recovery. “And do not get me started on how much pain you are in.”

“For the hundredth time, mom, the doctors know what they are doing.” Amanda pinched the bridge of her nose and tried not to yell. “It’s physical therapy. If it didn’t hurt I wouldn’t be doing it right.”

“But you’re exhausted.” Her mother moved to swiftly refluff the pillow on the bed for the twelfth time that afternoon and she smoothed out the blankets with a nervous hand. “Honey, you’ve had quite a traumatic experience. I still think some counseling and a nice relaxing stay in that hospital I found in Puerto Rico would be much better for you than staying here.” Her mother’s tone darkened, “with that man.”

Amanda kicked the covers off again and huffed indignantly. “His name is Sarek.”

“And what is he to you?” Her mother continued, ignoring her daughters glare as she resettled the blankets yet again, tucking them into the bed firmly making it nearly impossible to shake them off . “He comes and goes out of here like he’s a mahārāja and always with a whole slew of people following him about. And that woman that’s with him, she’s always whispering with your doctors. I don’t like it.”

“Her name is T-Pae and she’s a healer.” Amanda angrily worked her leg to the side of the bed and kicked the blanket at just the right spot till it came loose. “Sarek asked her to coordinate my care.” Amanda yanked at the blanket until it was free and tossed it angrily over the far side of the bed. Her mother glowered but Amanda continued. “And Sarek and I are together, mother. We have been for some time now. He has a vested interest in seeing me well. Considering how much further advanced Vulcan medical science is, I would have thought you’d be pleased that she’s consulting on my case.”

“Together – what does that mean? You swore there wasn’t anything to that scandal months ago and now you’re **together**! That picture of him carrying you is everywhere, Amanda, _everywhere_!” Her mother waved her arms to emphasis her point. “It’s gone _viral_. Even the colonies have seen it. You’ll never live this down. You know that because of Daddy you have to be more careful! Oh, what would daddy think?”

Amanda smiled and shook her head. “Grandpa would have already leveraged my relationship with Sarek for two new trade routes and probably orchestrated a legal contract for what he’d be entitled to if we married. Face it, mom, you’re father would have enjoyed the hell out of this. It’s shocking, hopelessly romantic, and wonderful for business.”

“I never should have let you spend so much time with him. You are just like him.” Her mother complained, slumping into the visitor’s chair with a dramatic sigh. “Mandy, you can’t expect this to go anywhere.”

Amanda automatically felt for the link in her mind and let her attention graze across it. Sarek’s presence was a constant thing now, the gossamer thread between them no longer weak and insubstantial but a braided cord of steel. T-Pae had confirmed that the mating link she’d warned about had indeed been fully realized during the long hours Sarek had stayed by Amanda’s bedside. There was no turning back now, for either of them. They hadn’t discussed it. Sarek seemed to take comfort in it, but he had yet to actually mention it to either of them. But Amanda could feel him gently exploring the link, and her via it, and she could feel his silent pleasure in its existence even if he hadn’t openly admitted to it’s presence. T-Pae was concerned about his reticence to acknowledge the topic, but she cautioned against confrontation and Amanda agreed. Sarek had some reason for ignoring it, likely rooted in the death of his first wife, and Amanda did not want to poke the bear without reason. She could sense his emotions though the link and while she knew he wouldn’t say the “L” word, Amanda could feel it coming from him and directed at her. But there was no way to explain this to her mother. T-Pae said they didn’t share information about their bonding or mating rituals and Amanda could respect that. And without telling her mother about the bond there was no way to reassure her of Sarek’s intentions. 

“Mom, I love him.” Amanda confessed softly and her mother’s head rose until her startled eyes locked onto her daughter’s. “And I think, in his way, he loves me.” Amanda continued gently. “It doesn’t look like how a man, a human man, might express it, but it is there. You need to have faith that I can handle myself in this.”

“But he’s so cold, Amanda. And he treats everyone like he’s better than them.”

Amanda wanted to snap back, ‘what if he is?’ But she settled on a small knowing smirk. “Mom, your father would say that I’m better than they are and I deserve someone equally as exceptional. What makes you think Sarek isn’t just that?”

“I just don’t want to see you hurt.” Her mother reached out and took her hand. “Mandy, he will eventually go home and they don’t exactly invite many humans to Vulcan. You’ll be stuck here and he’ll be on the other side of the galaxy. You know the saying, ‘a fish can love a bird…”

“We aren’t fish or birds, mom.” Amanda squeezed her mother’s hand. “And we will cross that bridge when we come to it.”

* * *

“What do you intend to do?” Sarek asked softly a week later. 

Amanda looked out the window of her private room at the rehabilitation center and sighed. “I can’t go back, Sarek. I…I don’t think I can stand in front of a classroom again – at least not for a while.” She closed her eyes and bit her lip trying to keep the tears back. “Every time I think about it, all I can see is their faces. I hear their screams…”

Sarek’s hand gently encased hers. “Come with me.” He asked softly. “Let me take you to Vulcan with us. Let me show you a world away from these memories.”

“If I leave I don’t know if I can ever come back.” Amanda confessed, turning watery eyes to her lover. “Sarek, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t…”

“The rescue workers would have eventually found you.” Sarek rubbed the back of her hand gently with his thumb. “And you are a survivor, Amanda Grayson. You would have managed even without me.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Amanda smiled ruefully, her thoughts turning to the many hours and days Sarek had remained with her during her recovery. Survivors guilt the psychologist called it. PTSD her doctors warned. _Khreya katra_ – soul trauma- the Vulcan healers said. Whatever it was, Amanda knew that without Sarek she’d have given into it. He down played his importance, but he was the only solid reliable thing Amanda had left of her life. “What would I do if I went with you? I can’t teach – not like this.”

Sarek’s dark eyes held hers. “Amanda, we have not discussed this, but…” He cupped her face gently. “I told you long ago that I could not bare the thought of loosing you. Having come so close, I know now how impossible it would be to continue without you. If you remain here, I remain here. Where you go, I will follow.” Sarek leaned forward to rest his head against hers. _Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on_

“Sarek?”

“Marry me, Amanda.” Sarek’s voice was controlled, calm, but Amanda could feel the tremble in him through his touch, both physically and mentally. “What we have now, the shimmer of a link between us, is not enough. I desire to have all of you.” He pulled back so he could look into her eyes. _I'wak mesukh-yut t'on taluhkong nash-veh k'dular. Koon-ut so'lik ?_

“Sarek,” Amanda couldn’t stop a tear from dripping down her cheek. “You don’t know how much I want to say yes. But… but how in the world could you possibly want to be tied to me like that? I’m human, and you’ll out live me by a century at least. I’m a mess. I’m more metal than bone at the moment and I’m jumping at every loud noise…”

“Your bones will heal.” Sarek insisted. “And in time all of you will heal as best as it can. You are still the wealth of fire that I first encountered in that restaurant, Amanda. Your passion for life, for living, remains untouched. You have only forgotten. In time you will accept what has come to pass.”

“Sybok hates me.”

“Sybok is displeased with both of us.” Sarek admitted, his eyes pained. 

Next to the imagined screams of her class, she would often awake to the remembered tears of Sybok. After the funeral service when Sarek had returned her to the hospital, Sybok had finally unleashed his temper on them both. He’d screamed at them, pounded his fists against his father, angry tears and accusations flying. ‘How could you!’ He’d screamed. ‘You let her die! You let Maria die!’ He had turned dark fierce eyes to her. ‘You promised you’d look after her. You lied! You failed her. You failed all of them!’ He’d run from the room, screaming ‘I hate you both!’ behind him. Sarek had stood at her bedside, shocked, as his security team chased after his son. That was the last she’d seen of the boy. T-Pae had advised them to send Sybok home to Vulcan. Sybok would not return either of their calls. The friendship bond between the two children had been strong, stronger than T-Pae had first assumed, and Sybok had felt her fear, her guilt, and her death. If the image of Maria holding the bomb would forever haunt Amanda, she could only imagine what having felt her last moments would do to Sybok.

“That still doesn’t answer the question of what exactly I would do if I did marry you and follow you to Vulcan.” Amanda sighed. “Sarek, I think it’s fairly obvious that I love you – it’s been obvious especially to you, what with you bumping about in my head. But I need to be my own person – have my own life. If I just pick up and move to Vulcan what will I have left that’s mine? I can’t just sit at home and bake cookies all day. I’m not cut out to be a house wife.”

Sarek raised one elegant eyebrow. “I would never expect you to do so. I have tasted your baking.”

“Sarek!”

His mouth quirked slightly. “Amanda, have you no other interests besides teaching? Have you never considered another path?”

Amanda picked at her blanket. “I used to think about working with grandpa’s company, but then we sold out our interest in it and my uncle isn’t about to take me on now, not for any meaningful position anyway. We never got on.”

“What if I could offer you a chance to use the same skills?” Sarek’s eyes were bright as he explained. “The majority of my work is done not in negotiation rooms, but in the hallways and ballrooms of embassies and palaces. While you would have no official title, I can assure you that as my wife you would be in a position to influence a considerable amount of Federation policy and negotiations. I have reviewed your work with Arthur Grayson. I can see your hand in several of the trade drafts and I believe that together we would make a formidable diplomatic team.”

“You hammer them in the negotiation room while I trick and charm them in the banquet hall?”

“Perhaps not the words I would use to describe the strategy, but essentially yes.” Sarek looked unaccountably pleased with himself.

Amanda couldn’t help smirking back. “Is this a marriage proposal and a job offer in one?”

“I thought the two would have greater success if pared.” Sarek admitted. “And if at any time you wish to return to the classroom, there are many opportunities to do so on Vulcan. Or we can return here to Earth. The majority of my time is spent as a Federation negotiator rather than a Vulcan ambassador to Earth as was originally intended. It matters little whether I am housed here or on Vulcan. If you would prefer a neutral location I am confident we could find another planet that would work equally as well as a base of operations.”

“Vulcan would put you closer to Sybok.” Amanda reasoned. “But won’t people get upset if you aren’t stationed here? You are still technically Vulcan’s ambassador to earth, even if you do work primarily on Federation matters.”

“Semantics.” Sarek waved off her concern. “Another can be appointed with that title and I may turn my entire focus to the more important issues that this fledging Federation of ours has yet to face. These attacks,” Sarek shook his head, “these are but a symptom of the larger problem. Many people, of every species, harbor fear and xenophobia. We will have more incidents like this before the Federation is stabilized. I intend to do what I can to mediate the impact and work to advance the cause of galactic peace and cooperation.”

“And we could be a part of it – a part of helping the Federation grow.” Amanda finished softly. “You are serious about this? You really want to marry me – and work with me?”

“Yes.” Sarek said simply. “It is the only logical course of action.”

“Logic?” Amanda huffed. “Is that all this is? A logical move? Don’t you feel anything at all?”

Sarek’s eyes twinkled with ill-concealed mirth. “Do you find a fault with my logic?”

Amanda sighed and held up her paired fingers. “Something tells me I’m going to get very tired of that word.”

“Is that a yes?”

Amanda rolled her eyes as Sarek’s fingers wrapped around hers. “Of course it is. You think I can go back to boring human sex after telepathic mating whatever-it-is we do?”

Sarek leaned forward rested his head against hers. “And to think, I have yet to even explain our actual mating rituals…” 

“Am I going to like what I hear?”

“Debatable.” Sarek replied evenly. “However, I can assure you that it will be anything other than boring.”

Amanda hmmed in agreement. “So what do we tell the press when they ask? Do we admit that this has been going on for months? Or do we let them think we hooked up after the bombing?”

“We will tell them nothing.” Sarek insisted softly, his hand curling around hers and the bond between them intensifying. “Let them wonder.”

“We’ll be the romance of the century, you know that? People will talk about us and speculate till they are blue in the face. They will hound us until we give them some reason for us being together.”

Sarek’s eyes drifted closed. “And I will only tell them the truth. It seemed like the logical thing to do.”

* * *

Taken from the Vulcan Language Institute: 

Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on = We have differences. May we, together, become greater than the sum of both of us.

I'wak mesukh-yut t'on. taluhkong nash-veh k'dular' - The present is the crossroads of both. (future and past) and I cherish thee.   
koon-ut so'lik – formal marriage proposal


	11. Shut Up and Kiss Me

Amanda carefully lowered herself into the armchair in Sarek’s, no _their_ room. She was officially released from rehabilitation, with a list of out patient rehab appointments and a rather grueling at home exercise list that T-Pae had sworn to oversee. Rather than return to her apartment she’d agreed to move into the embassy openly, much to her mother’s greif. Sarek’s marriage proposal had done little to settle her mother’s concerns, and Amanda was privately worried what the elderly woman would do when she found out Amanda’s intention to move off world once Sarek finished his current round of projects at the Federation headquarters. Had it been her grandfather, she’d have just offered to take him with them, but Edith Grayson was not the adventurous sort and Amanda knew she’d never be happy off world. But Amanda didn’t want to see her alone either, her only child off doing gods knew what. Sarek insisting that he had to discuss something with Amanda, privately, the same afternoon as her daughter’s long awaited release had further aggravated the woman.

Edith Grayson had stormed out of the Embassy as soon as Amanda’s bags had been unloaded. While the two of them sneaking around for several weeks hadn’t raised any eyebrows, the emotional display by the elderly Grayson matriarch had caused a mini uproar. Amanda had never seen Vulcan’s gossip before, but the hushed whispered behind hands had been almost funny. Growing up Amanda had gotten rather used to her mother’s dramatic exits and she was only glad the woman hadn’t slammed the antique stained glass door hard enough to break it. Instead of acknowledging the spectacle, Amanda had calmly asked Sarek if he would help her up the stairs so she could lay down. He’d instantly complied, sensing that she wished to have the private conversation that had so upset her mother, and taken her hand to lead her up the staircase.

“So, what is the supper secret thing we need to talk about?” Amanda asked.

Sarek set down her bag and calmly took a seat opposite her. The intense stillness of his face and the stiff set of his shoulders told Amanda how nervous he was even without the bond vibrating between them.

“Amanda, I would have explained this far earlier if I’d realized the bond between us would grow so quickly or so complete.” Sarek looked down and away. “Now that it is essentially too late for you to object, I find myself reluctant to give you proof of your folly in trusting me so completely with your safety. Even had I not proposed to formalize our relationship with marriage, you would still suffer the effects based on the mating bond we share.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow. “Okay, that sounds rather ominous. I’d prefer it if you just spit it out.”

Sarek stood quickly and walked to the window, his hands braced behind him and his stance defensive. “It is called _pon farr_ and it is the greatest shame of my people.” He hesitated for a moment, drawing a deep shaky breath. Amanda kept her seat and watched him, curious as to what could cause such a strong reaction in the normally unflappable man. “It is cyclical," he continued softly, "and when the Time comes, a Vulcan male is stripped of his logic, left with nothing but the most base of animalistic needs. We must mate, or we die.” He turned back to her, his eyes haunted. “We do what we can to mediate the trauma of it for all those concerned, but in truth, Amanda, it is a horrifying experience and it defines the lives of most of my kind. Every seven years I lose myself, all that I am, and I am consumed by the fires. It is only through mating that they can be purged, and it is not a gentle coupling.”

“And how long until this happens again?” Amanda asked gently, using all her will power not to stand and go to him. The grief and shame in his voice and mind breaking her heart.

“Approximately four Earth years.” Sarek whispered. “Time enough for us to settle into the bond and arrange our lives before…” Sarek trailed off to sit down heavily on the corner of the bed. His head dipped. “I would spare you this, Amanda, if it was at all in my power.”

Amanda gave in and crossed the room to quickly sit at his side, her hand slipping into his. “Sarek, I realize this…this Time frightens you. And I know I can’t understand it, not without _living_ it. But you do understand that I rather enjoy being in your bed, right? I wouldn’t turn you away just because you’re not quite yourself.”

“You do not understand.” Sarek’s hand trembled slightly in hers. “Vulcans are aggressive sexually even outside the time – I have demonstrated that more than once with you. But I am still tempering my natural instincts, holding back the inner demon that claws at me continually. During _pon farr_ there is no holding back. I will not notice nor care if you object to an action. If I desire it I will have it. Your comfort, your pleasure, will not be taken into account. Males have _killed_ their partners, Amanda, accidentally and even intentionally, when in the throws of the fever.” Sarek turned haunted eyes to her. “I could harm you.”

Amanda felt a shiver of fear but swallowed it down. “I imagine that the mating bond we share has some effect on this process.”

“It will call you to me, when the Time is near.” Sarek confessed weakly. “You will feel the flames and you will be able to find me no matter the distance between us. Some healers speculate that the bond also offers some protection to the female if it is strong enough. I have read of cases where the fires have been delayed or tempered when the female is in ill health or already with child. But it is nearly impossible to mount a scientific study of the subject, it is so very private. There is some evidence to suggest that the stronger the bond between the mating pair the safer the coupling is for the female, but it is mostly anecdotal. Unbonded pairs suffer the most, that we do know.”

Amanda nodded. “So the mating bond that formed between us, it most likely developed to protect me for when your Time comes?”

“Yes.” Sarek sighed. “A mating bond, however, is not all we share. I believe, based on the degree to which I am able to sense your mind even when we are apart, it has developed into a more complete bond. In effect," he trailed off guiltily. 

"We are already married." Amanda finished gently. "Sarek, I knew that already. You have a Vulcan healer looking after me. Did you think she would miss this? Or hide the meaning?"

Sarek turned further away. "I did not wish to think of it. In truth, Amanda, I was not ready to accept another as wife. I desired you, true, and I enjoy your company more than is logical. But I still greave, may always grieve, for what I have lost. I had intended to return to Vulcan at the end of this current mission and take a wife of my clan's choosing, only due to the necessity of insuring my survival for Sybok's sake. Now he will not speak to me, I am sure my clan will question my choice of a human as a mate, and I have condemned you to a life that you did not knowingly choose. I have violated you, Amanda, by not informing you of the possible ramifications of repeated physical joinings with me. Even more unforgivably, I melded with you deeper than a normal mating bond...I..." His shoulders slumped in defeat. "I was _lonely_ , Amanda. And while T-Pae would council that emotion is not justification for such a brazen lack of consideration of your privacy, I have no other reason to give you for my unconscionable actions. Had you been a telepath you would have sensed I was going deeper than necessary. You did not, could not. T-Pae warned me that if I did not explain my actions to you, she would. Amanda," He turned back to her, eyes haunted. "Amanda, I have raped you."

"I don't feel violated, Sarek." Amanda smiled. "Really, I don't. I gave you permission to meld with me, remember?"

"You gave permission in the height of a sexual encounter and without knowing the full extent of what you were offering, nor that I would take more than is considered proper." Sarek argued. "You have every right to forsake me."

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "Right, but no desire. Sarek, I've agreed to marry you. I gave you permission to see my thoughts and I meant it. Our melding has been so...so... _intimate._ I never thought there wasn't a part of me you hadn't explored, _touched_. I could feel you move through my thoughts, my feelings and I let you, I encouraged you. Maybe a Vulcan woman wouldn't have, but I did. And I liked it. I liked...being consumed by you." Amanda shivered slightly thinking about the last time they'd been together completely, prior to the bombing. A jolt of desire folded through her and Sarek's head jerked in response.

He stared at her for a long moment before formulating the words to reply. "You are not upset by this? You...desire it?"

"Yes." Amanda admitted firmly. "If I didn't, then I would have gotten the hell out of here a long time ago." She reached out to grasp his hand. "Sarek, you can feel me, what I"m thinking, my emotions. Do I feel like I'm lying?"

Sarek's dark eyes bore into hers. "No."

"Then shut up and kiss me."


	12. It's in the Blood

“Amanda, please honey, you have to see reason!” Edith Grayson pleaded.

“Mom,” Amanda sighed as she placed another stack of carefully folded sweaters into the donation box. “I know you don’t understand what it means, but Sarek and I are as good as married – and it’s not something that we can undo.” Amanda turned and walked over to the nearly empty closet in her apartment and pulled out another stack of winter clothes and quickly started to sort it, the majority going into the donation box and a few select pieces into a shipping crate,-a handful of others into a storage box to remain behind at the embassy for when they were on Earth. “But more importantly, mom, I love him.” Amanda turned bright eyes to her mother and tried with all her might to will her feelings into her gaze.

Edith grimaced. “I know you _think_ you love him, but Amanda look at what you’re giving up! You can’t just hand your entire life over to this man! You have built something here and you’re just abandoning it to follow him like…like some pathetic heroine in a bad YA novel.”

“If you compare me to Bella Swan one more time I swear I won’t come back for Christmas.” Amanda threatened. “And I’m not giving anything up, mom. In case you didn’t notice, my school was blown up. I’m on extended medical leave, and frankly there’s no way in hell I’m getting back in front of a classroom anytime soon. I can’t even _think_ about teaching without seeing all their faces.” Amanda fought down the nausea that admitting that caused her. “Besides, we both know that I’m happier out there.” She pointed up and smiled softly. “The stars are in my blood, mom. I tried to deny it, to be the normal daughter you wanted, but we both knew I’m too much like granddad for it to last long.”

Edith sat down heavily on the corner of the stripped bed. “I hoped that if I sold off our share of the company you could lead a normal life. I wanted that for you so badly.”

Amanda pulled a chair up opposite her mother and sat down. “Why? Why was it so important to you that I be some ‘normal’ girl? You saw how happy I was with granddad, how good I was at it. Why did you want to sell out so badly? I wanted so much to stop you, but I could tell how much it meant to you, and I didn’t have the heart to argue with you after the funeral. I was too young and too naive, and I thought Uncle would let me back in when I came of age. Which in hind sight was rather stupid of me. He’s not exactly the type to share the glory.”

“No, he isn’t. My brother’s never forgiven me for some things that happened when I was a teenager, either. He’s taking that out on you by refusing you a part in the company.” Edith sighed and put her head in her hands. “Amanda, there are things you don’t know about our past, things that…things that I’ve never wanted you to have to live with. But I can’t let you do this, not if it’s just to go back out there.” Edith looked up and frowned, her eyes moist. “If you want back in the company that badly I’ll make it happen. I swear I will. I’ve enough leverage….”

“No, mom.” Amanda shook her head. “The company isn’t the important part. I mean, I want it to do well because it’s granddads legacy, but I don’t want a job. I just…I need to be out there – to travel, to explore. I made myself content with what I could see and do here, so close to the Federation Headquarters, but it’s not enough. I just… I need to be out on the edge of things, to see things no one else has.”

“It’s the Grayson in you.” Edith sighed dramatically. “Viking family to the core. There was a Grayson in the first colony ships from England to settle in Virginia, and there was a Grayson heading west before the trails were even mapped. We were in the first batch of settlers on Mars Colony, and then dad and his crazy exploits. It only stands to reason that you’d go off and be the first human to marry a Vulcan, and to help plot the future of the Federation. You’ve a double dose of wander lust in you and I don’t know what made me think I could temper it.”

“Double dose?” Amanda wrinkled her nose. “What are you talking about?”

Edith stood up and walked over to the pile of clothes for donation and pulled out a sweater and moved it to the storage box. “Your Aunt Helen gave you that. She’ll expect to see it next winter.” Edith patted it as she placed it inside and kept her back turned away. “Your father,” Edith said softly then cleared her throat. “Your father was one of the best pilots dad had.” 

“My father?” Amanda’s heart jumped and she felt the world spin for a moment. “Mom, you would never tell me…”

“Your father was a something to see, Amanda, back then.” Edith confessed, a far off look on her face and painful half smile curling her lip. “All bluster and arrogance. He kept his ship modified for speed and I swear that man could outrun even a Vulcan cruiser. Dad used him for most of the illegal shipping he didn’t want anyone to know about. And Frank loved it, every second of it. All the backroom dealing, all the cut throat double crosses. I never saw such an adrenalin junky. And dad only encouraged him. If he’d known that the entire time he was egging Frank on, that Frank was fucking his only daughter, I’m sure matters might have been different. I was only 15, and Frank was easily the high side of his 30s. But I was young, and I thought I was in love with the modern day pirate. Han to my Leia, a space Jack Sparrow.” 

Edith moved to the closet and took down two coats and moved them to the donation pile. Amanda dared not interrupt. 

“Of course, Frank was only after a little tail.” Edith stated bitterly. “That was only to evident the moment I realized I was pregnant. He demanded I terminate the pregnancy and I refused. I wanted to get a little homestead somewhere, escape the constant rush of being a Grayson, being the daughter of the great shipping magnet. But Frank, Frank had no interest in settling down. He threatened me, even tried to slip something in my drink.” Edith’s hands clenched on the shirt she was holding, bunching the fabric. “So I went to dad, told him I’d gotten myself knocked up. And he didn’t ask. Didn’t ask who, or why, or how. He just whisked me off that god forsaken space station we’d been staying at for the last 6 months while he worked on some new deal, and the next thing I know I’m back on Earth and mother is flapping around me like a wounded bird and my brother won’t look me in the eye. Dad never treated me the same after that. He didn’t yell at me, and if a reporter questioned me or tried to harass me he handled it. He wouldn’t let anyone say a single negative thing about me – not to my face at least. And he never once asked me to get rid of you or to hide you. And that man loved you, from the moment he laid eyes on you. Dad knew you were just like him, he saw it in your eyes from the first time you blinked up at him.”

Edith closed her eyes. “I couldn’t bear space after that. Just a short flight from Earth to Mars made me think of Frank, and I knew that if I ever let dad have even a hint of who it was, he’d do something to Frank. And I still loved him – even after all that, and I wanted to protect him.”

“Where is he?” Amanda asked softly. “Is he still…”

“Klingons killed him over a bad bar bet,” Edith admitted softly, “when you were 24 months old. Dad finally figured it out when he mentioned it causally at dinner and I fainted.” Edith opened her eyes and wiped a tear from the corner. “We never talked about it after that, and dad stopped having any of the pilots over for dinner.” She turned to look at her daughter, eyes bright. “Amanda, you can’t make the same mistakes I did. I was willing to give up everything for some man, and in a way I did. I can’t bear to see you do the same thing now.”

“Mom, it’s hardly the same thing.” Amanda crossed the room and pulled her mother into a fierce hug. “Sarek loves me, mom. He loves me. And he wants to have me at his side.” Amanda pulled back and wiped the tears from her mother’s cheeks. “He offered to stay here you know. He was willing to give up his post as ambassador and take some job at the Federation Headquarters just so I could stay and teach if I wanted. But he knew me well enough to know that I would prefer to be out there, with him, on the edges of the Federation fighting for what we both want. Everything is so new mom, so new and so fragile. Peace is being held by a thread, and there’s so much work to be done. And we can do it, mom. Together he and I, we can make a difference.”

“No one will credit you.” Edith warned. “Sarek’s too big a name, even now. Just being Vulcan everyone thinks he’s in charge and after that job of negotiating the memorial service he’s made a name for himself. You’ll always be in his shadow, the daughter of the disgraced Grayson heiress.”

“You’re hardly disgraced, mom. It’s not exactly 1860. Being preggers out of wedlock’s not that shameful.” Amanda groused. “Quit being over dramatic.”

“You try being a pregnant single 15 year old with three dozen paparazzi following you everywhere and gossip columnists pointing at you every time they want to talk about moral degeneration.” Edith admonished. 

“No thanks.” Amanda smiled softly and moved back towards her closet. “Look, I know you will miss me terribly, mom, but I just – I have to do this. I can’t stand another second of being here, in one place. I’m not made to be idle. There’s stars out there, and planets, and _people_ and I want to see all of them. “Amanda bit her lip and tried to find the words to explain. “There’s just something magical about stepping onto alien soil for the first time- of opening up a shuttle door and not knowing what you’ll find on the other side, hearing words that don’t translate, of tasting food you can’t recognize. I need it like I need air, mom. And Sarek loves that about me – he loves that I need it and he’s in a position to provide me with it. Can you understand how perfect this is?”

“Do you love him or his job?”

Amanda smiled softly. “Mom, he’s Vulcan. He _is_ his job.” 

“If find that disturbing.” The elderly woman complained.

“I find it endearing.” Amanda countered. “He reminds me so much of granddad, and what we are building, I can have a hand it shaping it. I don’t care if I don’t get credit for it, mom. I don’t need my name in history books. But I’ll get to see it happening, I’ll get to help make the Federation into something. In the grand schema of things it’s so new, and with races joining every day, just think about how much it’s grown in the decades since it was founded and think about what we can do now. This bombing, it’s opened doors, mom. People are coming together in ways they never have before. Sarek and I can leverage that. We can turn this tragedy into an opportunity to forge better understanding.”

Edith Grayson shook her head. “Amanda, someday if you ever have children you will understand exactly who frightening it is to hear something like that.”

“If Sarek and I can, we will. The healers don’t know if there’s a way to make that happen genetically or not, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Amanda said softly. “And if I do ever have children of my own, I hope that I can be strong enough to let them live the life they are meant to – even if it hurts.”

“I won’t stop you.” Edith replied, her voice heavy. “But I can’t help worrying for you. You do know you’ll always have a home here, no matter what.”

“I know, mom.” Amanda blinked back tears. “I know.”

* * *

“Is everything in order?” Sarek asked softly.

“Yes.” Amanda answered, smiling, her hand slipping easily into his. The sun was just starting to set and they gazed out over the water from the window in their bedroom at the top of the temporary embassy for the last time. “I said goodbye to mom and all the things are packed from my apartment. I have very little I need to take with us.”

“I will buy you anything you require.” Sarek pulled her closer and rested his chin on her head, his greater body heat wrapping around her. “If you wish to change your mind, it is not to late. I sense you are reluctant to leave.”

Amanda leaned back into his embrace. “Not reluctant. It’s just…I feel like we are about to set off on some grand adventure and I don’t know the outcome of it. Sybok is still angry with us both, your family is likely to be distant at best, and while the Federation is temporarily united after this bombing we have no idea of what will happen next week or next year. I don’t regret my decision to follow you, but I’m … gathering strength I suppose. The long indrawn breath before the plunge.”

Sarek placed a gentle kiss to the nape of her neck. “You crave adventure.”

“True.” Amanda grinned wickedly. “Among other things.”

“You are insatiable, woman.” Sarek huffed a breath of hot air across her neck before biting down over the pulse point. Amanda arched into him and his hands held her steady. “Oh the things I will do to you, now that you are mine.” He promised darkly. “When we are in my rooms, the ancient stones swallowing every sound – when there is no one to hear or care…”

Amanda growled low in her throat and pressed back into him. “When does that ship leave again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is the end. We could follow them to Vulcan, watch Sybok grow more and more bitter, the struggle to conceive Spock, the hardship of adapting to a new world, and the horrible events that lead to Sybok's banishment and most likely the wedge that grew between Sarek and his youngest - even up to Spock leaving for Star Fleet. But those things we have some idea of, and I'd rather end this tale where it's happiest - on the cusp of new adventure. 
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> Thank you to all my readers and reviewers! You guys are why I keep writing. Thank you.


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